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Fountain of Wisdom

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Fountain of Wisdom: The Classics
© 2003 Stephen D. Glass
All Rights Reserved.
The best collection of Americans' favorite inspirational, motivational funny sayings, phrases and quotes from all over the U.S.

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Sometimes you are the bug. Sometimes you are the windshield.
Sometimes, I feel like two-thirds Rice Crispies…past Snap and Crackle, but just shy of Pop!
Sometimes, I wake up early, so I can be with "ME" even longer!
Sometimes, it’s tragic. Sometimes, it’s magic. I have a good life all the same.
Spark it up, sparky.
Speak kind words, and you will hear kind echoes.
Speed doesn't's the sudden stop at the end that kills.
Start every day with a smile, and get it out of the way!
Stop sipping on the haterade.
Stupid hurts!
  Stupid people should assist the process of natural selection or " survival of the fittest " volunteering for mandatory surgical sterilization.
Success comes with a Backbone, not a Wishbone.
Success is just luck. Ask any failure.
Swallowing pride has zero calories.
Take care of the pennies, and the dollars will take care of themselves.
Tall, blonde, and mean as a snake…any questions?
Thank God for the last minute. Otherwise, a lot of stuff wouldn't get done.
Thank God, there’s a new day coming. I could use a break!
That's a definite maybe!
The 82nd Airborne Division: When it ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY has to be destroyed OVERNIGHT!
The best room, is room for improvement.
The best three reasons for being a teacher are June, July, and August.
The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
The biggest problem with communication is the perception that it occurred.
The combination of menopause and teenage children is proof that God is not a woman.
The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and doing it exactly right.
The difference between think and know is...he thinks he's your father, and I KNOW I'm your mother.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!
The Enterprise crew doesn't know it, but we secretly replaced their dilithium with Folgers Crystals.
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
The good things that come to those who wait are only leftovers from those who got there first.
The grass is only greener where you water it.
  The grass may always appear to be greener on the other side of the fence, but it needs to be mowed and watered and probably has thistles.
The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the most of everything that comes their way.
The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.
The longest journey begins with a single step.
The Lord gave us two ends... one to sit on and one to think with. Success in life depends on
which one you use the most!
The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.
The more I drink, the better you look. So, I think I'll have another beer!
The more you know, the more you know you need to know.
The most important sense we have is our sense of humor.
The next time you think you're perfect, try walking on water!
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
The one thing you can give and yet always keep is your word!
The only good losers are the ones who are used to it!
The only place where SUCCESS comes before WORK is in the dictionary.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
The only thing requiring payback is a good deed.
The only thing that can't be taken from you is your education!
The only thing you should do behind someone's back is pat it.
The person rowing the boat usually doesn't have time to rock it.
The positive side to feeling empty is that you can fill it with anything.
  The problem with people who have no vices is that, generally, you can be pretty sure they're going
to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The problem with the gene pool is that there are no lifeguards!
The problems in the world can not be solved by the level of thinking that created them.
The purest form of insanity is doing the same things and expecting different results.
  The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the most tempting moment.
The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
The sky is not the limit...the ground is.
The sooner some leave this planet, the better!
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up!
The stone that the builder refuses will always be the head cornerstone.
The strongest oaks grow where the strongest winds blow.
The strongest reed is found in swift water!
The thirst for knowledge (like that for water) must be quenched. Don't dehydrate!
The toes you step on today could be connected to the @$$ you kiss tomorrow.
The trouble with some people is that they won't admit their faults. I'd admit mine, if I had any.
The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful!
The world's a stage, but some people are better actors with brighter costumes!
There are 3 kinds of people…those that can count, and those that cannot.
There are easier things in life than meeting a good man…nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance!
There are many theories on how to argue with a woman. None of them work!
There are no traffic jams on the extra mile.
There are three kinds of people in the world…those who can count and those who can't.
There are two mantras in life, "yum" and "yuk". Mine is "yum".
There are two things you need to know...1.There is a God. 2.You are not Him!
There are two types of people...characters and people with character.
There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it.
There is a rational, scientific explanation for this. We just haven't found it yet.
They shouldn't have let me in the water if they didn't want me to make waves.
This is as bad as it gets...but don't count on it.
This is bad on so many levels.
This is the earliest I've ever been late!
Those of you who think you know everything, annoy the hell out of us who do.
Those that play with the owls at night won't soar with the eagles at dawn!
Those who know how to laugh at themselves never run out of things to laugh about.
Those without imagination are destined to live in reality.
Time flies when you're spoiling someone else's fun.
Time is a great teacher, but it kills every one of its students.
To be old and wise you must first be young and dumb.
To err is human. To really screw things up requires a COMPUTER!
To make the world a better place, look in the mirror first.
To really know a man, observe his behavior with a woman, a flat tire, and a child.
To run with the big dog, you can't pee like a puppy.
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. 
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
To the world you are just someone, but to someone you are the world.
Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s little nut that held its ground!
Tomorrow, I shall be sober, and you will still be ugly.
Treat everyone like they're worth a million, even if they don't have any cents.
Triumph is just UMPH added to TRY!
Trouble always starts out looking like fun!
True friends are those who, when you've made a fool of yourself, don't think you've done
a permanent job.
True genius always borders on insanity.

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****Fountain of Wisdom collection of favorite sayings and quotes
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The Classics |

Collective Wisdom collection of favorite sayings and quotes
| Always | As a Teacher... | Be All You Can Be! | The Best Questions | Don't... | Happy Birthday! | Hey, Stupid | IF... | Love |
My GOD | Never | One of a Kind | Only You! | Power of Words | Tell Me About "IT" | That's Life! | Walk the Walk |

More Collections of favorite sayings and quotes
| Church Marquees | The Morals of Aesop's Fables | Pledge To America | Tom Swifties |

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