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Tom Swifties... 
ultimate game of wordplay and intelligence"
© 2003 Stephen D. Glass
All Rights Reserved.


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"10 years from now, what will it matter?" asked Tom physically. 
"2 teach is 2 touch a life 4ever," said Tom calculatingly.
"A  man's goal should exceed his grasp," Tom said shortly.
"A few of these Swifties are really corny," Tom said absolutely amaized.
"Actually, I was never in it for the money," said Mike communally.
"Ah, Man! Someone's stolen my Milky Way and my Snickers," said Tom holding no bars.
"Ah, my little Warsaw beauty. I could carry you forever!" Tom said politely.
"All of my beard burned off," Tom said ashen-faced.
"Also, I've also admired St Ignatius," said Tom loyally.
"And I, I took the path less traveled by," said Tom pathetically.
"And pretty maids all in a row," Tom said linearly.
"And that's another plus for you," said Tom positively.
"And that's pornography," he stated positively.
"And they stole my mallards, too," he added deductively.
"And this too shall pass," said Tom constipatedly.
"And to Dot, a lady of rhythmic motion," Mike responded gracefully.
"And what is your point?" she asked sharply.
"And your lower arm, too," he added radially.
"As inconceivable as it seemed the lovemaking ended prematurely," she said unexpectedly.
"As long as we keep the left," said Mike radically.
  "As the glass tipped precariously one way, then another, the man at the end of the bar raised his half full glass. "I'll have another," he said sloshed.
"Berlin will always be an open city," Kennedy said stonewalling.
"Bill thinks he's a good lover," Hillary said quickly.
"Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out," Tom said aerobically.
"Build it and they will come," said Tom constructively.
"But I don't want to go window shopping before we eat," said Tom tabling the motion.
"But there's nothing in the tower, " Tom said noblely.
"Can I jimmie your lock?" Tom asked openly.
"Can the corny jokes," Tom said huskily.
"Can't be pornography," she denied technologically. "I don't own a pornograph."
"Can't we get this balloon to fly any faster," said Tom blowing hot air.
"Clothes don't make the man," said Tom barely.
"Coach told me to tell you when it's your turn to run the race," said Tom relaying the message.
"Come on, you guys. Row!" she ordered.
"Dang! I dropped a glass!" Tom muttered brokenly.
"Darn, I have an upset tummy and the grass needs mowing," Tom said turning green.
"Did you hear about the ram who committed suicide? There'll never be another you," Tom heard someone singing.
"Did you see that halter on her?" Tom asked stopping in his tracks.
"Do you know how much I knead you," said Tom the Baker with feeling.
"Do you think you'd be even the slightest bit interested in this TV program?" Tom asked remotely.
"Dogs are nasty," said Dot cattily.
"Don't ever call me just 'average'," Tom said in his regular demeanor.
"Don't sweat it," Tom said aridly.
"Don't talk to me until you polish the floor again," Tom said rebuffingly.
"Don't those guys look like they're faking it?" Tom asked while wrestling for an answer.
"Don't you have enough jewelry from QVC?" said Tom ringing out.
"Don't you know the combination?" she asked safely.
"Enough of these barbs about neutrality!" said Tom sitting on the fence.
"Everyone must be afk during spring break," Pam said disconnectedly.
"Everyone should switch to circuit breakers!" Tom said con-fuse-edly.
"Ewwwww," Dot said sheepishly.
"Extremism in the defense of freedom is no vice," said Barry Goldwater righteously.
"Fair weather friends aren't worth much," Tom said clearly.
"Finders keepers," Tom said profoundly.
"For a seamstress, your work seems pretty shoddy," Tom said in his cutting voice.
"Forty isn't old...if you're a tree," Tom said ringing outwardly.
"Gee, Steve, we may have to start a 12-step program called Swifties Anonymous,"  Pam said overwhelmingly.
"Gosh, what was in that cigarette?" asked Tom in a high voice.
"Haha, I've broken my arm," said Tom humorously.
"Hand me that knife," said Tom cuttingly.
"He insisted on knowing what kind of mettle I had to demonstrate to win that Army medal," said Tom avoiding the meddler.
"He was a ruptured Chinaman", said One-hug-low.
"Help! We're being washed over the falls," cried Tom rapidly.
"Hey! I think that guy just picked my pockets," Tom said confoundedly.
"Hey, someone just goosed me," Tom cried foully.
"Hi guys! I feel swell," said Tom waving from his surfboard.
"Hmm... thinking it would be NICE if we lost the Right!" said Dot with a liberal dose of panache.
"How did my name get brought into this?" the artist formerly known as Dot asked anonymously.
"How do you solve these algebra problems?" Tom asked alphabetically.
"How do you win on Jeopardy?" Tom asked questioningly.
"How would you like your steak cooked?" asked Tom meting out the meat at the meeting.
"I agree. Time has been dragging by," Tom seconded.
"I always have trouble thinking of words to use when I play Scrabble," Tom said with writer's block.
"I always use a slice toast as a pooper scooper," said Jamanure.
"I am a boxer," Tom said looking him squarely in the eyes.
"I am highly monogamous," said Clinton faithfully.
"I am just a poor school teacher," said Mike lacking capital.
"I ate 144 of them," Tom said grossly.
"I believe I can close that deal on the purchase of the local tavern," said Tom actively bargaining.
"I believe she'll be able to transcribe my messages," Tom predicted.
"I bet I just set a record!" said Tom loading his jukebox in record time.
"I bet I won't ever wait to the last minute to get a date again," Tom promised.
"I bet you can't eat just one," Tom said in his chipper voice.
"I can climb this by myself," said Tom unilaterally.
"I can get more done if I wear coveralls," Tom said overall.
"I can make a ton of money if I become a locksmith," said Tom all keyed up.
"I can make some extra money during deer season cutting meat," Tom said cleverly.
"I can memorize this," Tom rote.
"I can send signals with damp wood," said Tom blowing smoke.
"I can waltz through this," said Tom as he entered the 12-step program.
"I can't believe how the March Madness games ended," Tom said angrily.
"I can't believe they made me put out my cigar at that restaurant," Tom said still fuming.
"I can't believe THIS is your favorite candy bar!" she snickered.
"I can't buy that salt mine," said Tom with his hopes dashed.
"I can't find my clothes," Tom barely said as he rose swiftly from his bed.
"I can't get motivated to finish this flowerbed," Tom said lackadaisically.
"I can't go anywhere fun since the police gave me this tracking apparatus to wear," said Tom mumbling about his device.
"I can't type in chatrooms very fast," Tom said digitally.
"I can't wait to get back to the US," Evan said Haitiing every day over there.
"I could eat a 1/4 of a bushel of that," Tom said peckishly.
"I didn't expect her to win. I was supposed to!" she said upset.
"I didn't get Ositito's last Swiftie," Dot whispered acquisitively.

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