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You'll never learn
anything being the smartest person in the room. |
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"For every person
with a spark of genius, there are a hundred with
ignition trouble." --- Kurt Hanks |
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"It is often better
to keep one's mouth shut and appear stupid than to open
it and remove all doubt."
--- Mark Twain |
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"Nothing is
infinite, except the universe and stupid people, and
sometimes, I doubt the universe."
--- Albert Einstein |
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"One fourth of the
people of the world are against everything 100% of the
time." --- Robert Kennedy |
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"Risk takers often
fail. So do morons. In practice, it's difficult to sort
them out." --- S. Adams |
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Thinking is the
hardest work there is, which is the probable reason so
few people engage in it."
--- Henry Ford |
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"Two things are
infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not
sure about the universe."
--- Albert Einstein |
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99% of the people
who cause accidents are idiots, and 99% of the idiots
are caused by accidents. |
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A small mind and a
big mouth are usually found in the same place. |
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A wise man knows
his ignorance. A fool thinks he knows everything. |
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A wise man once
said, "I don't know. Go ask a woman." |
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A wise man
understands that he should always have more sense than
dollars. |
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Ah, brain
cramp...nothing's coming! Maybe tomorrow. |
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An idiot with a
computer is a faster, better idiot! |
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Anyone can grab a
tiger by the tail. The difference between a fool and a
genius is knowing what to do next! |
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As much as you
might want to, sometimes it's better not to make fun of
the stupid! |
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At the fountain of
knowledge most are content with just a sip. |
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Better to be
thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all
doubt. |
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Don't be so open
minded that your brains fall out! |
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Dung is no saint,
but where it falls it works miracles. |
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Even a foolish man
seems wise when he is silent. |
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Every time I try to
see things your way, I get a headache. |
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Everybody's crazy.
It's all just a matter of degree! |
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Everyone adds
happiness to this place...some when they enter, others
when they leave. |
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Everyone has a
photographic memory. Some people just don't have film. |
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Everyone has the
right to make mistakes, but don't you think you've taken
someone else's turn? |
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Everyone is
entitled to be stupid, but you are abusing the
privilege. |
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Go sell crazy
somewhere else, because we're all filled up here. |
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He had too many
issues, so I cancelled his subscription. |
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I blame it all on
my roots. |
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I can only please
one person per day. Today is NOT your day, and tomorrow
is not looking good EITHER! |
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I could insult your
intelligence, but then you probably wouldn't understand
the insult. |
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I do whatever my
Rice Krispies tell me to do. |
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I don't need a
miracle, but I could use a push in the right direction. |
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I don't suffer from
insanity. I'm loving every minute of it. |
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I have to remember
to put the corks in my ears at night or my brain will
leak out. |
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I keep pulling
myself up by my bootstraps, but they keep breaking. |
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I learn by my
mistakes. Trouble is that it will take more than one
lifetime to learn all that. |
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I learn more and
more about less and less until eventually I know
everything about nothing. |
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I live in a state
of perpetual confusion. |
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I once had a handle
on life, but it broke. |
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I refuse to have a
battle of the wits with an unarmed person. |
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I tried sanity
once, but it was an excruciating bore. |
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I'd love to have a
battle of wits with you, but I never fight an unarmed
person! |
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If a$$holes could
fly, this place would be an airport. |
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If it is called
common sense, why doesn't everybody have it? |
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If life's a bowl of
cherries, why do I always get the pits? |
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If stupidity got us
into this mess, why can't it get us out? |
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If you can't be a
good example, be a horrible warning! |
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If you can't dazzle
them with brilliance, baffle them with bull! |
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If you think
education is expensive, look at the price of ignorance! |
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If you want to give
God a good laugh, tell Him your Plan for Life. |
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If you were as dumb
as dirt, then you would cover an acre! |
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If you're not
playing with a full deck, then don't shuffle in public. |
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Ignorance is like
dirt…it got all over everyone when we were
created. Thank God some of us learned how to bathe! |
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Ignorance on your
behalf does not constitute an emergency on my behalf. |
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Insanity takes its
toll. Please have correct change! |
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Intelligence has
its limits. Stupidity hasn't found its bounds yet. |
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Intelligence is
what you do when you don't know what to do. |
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It may be your sole
purpose in life is to simply serve as a warning to
others. |
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It should be a law
that all stupid people stay home when I go out. |
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It’s unfortunate
ignorance isn't painful. |
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It's not wise to
argue with a 900 pound Gorilla about the ownership of
bananas. |
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Just when you feel
down about yourself, turn on Jerry Springer! |
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Just when you think
you have everything foolproof, you find a really
talented fool. |
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Kids in the
backseat cause accidents. Accidents in the backseat
cause kids. |
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KISS...Keep It
Simple Stupid! |
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Learn from the
mistakes of others. You will not live long enough to
make them all yourself. |
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Life is tough, but
it's tougher if you're stupid. |
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Make something
idiot proof, and they will build a better idiot. |
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Minds are like
parachutes. They only function when open. |
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Never argue with an
idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you
with experience. |
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Never debate a fool
for the audience won't know who he is. |
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Never engage in a
battle of wits with someone who is unarmed! |
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Never lose your
friends over something stupid. |
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Never underestimate
the power of human stupidity. |
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Never underestimate
the power of ignorance in large groups. |
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Never underestimate
the power of stupid people in large groups. |
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Never underestimate
the power of stupid people...period. |
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No brains. No
headache. |
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No ma'am. Stupidity
isn’t against the law, but we discourage it anyway. |
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No. I'm not crazy,
but I am a carrier! |
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Not every one can
learn from other peoples' mistakes. Some of us have to
be the other people. |
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Not the brightest
crayon in the box, are we? |
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Of all the things I
have lost, I miss my mind the most! |
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One must be careful
not to spread ignorance. It's deadly. |
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Otis has some
trouble in his brain. |
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People are
basically stupid. Give them a chance, and they'll prove
it every time. |
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Sometimes, I feel
like two-thirds Rice Crispies…past Snap and Crackle, but
just shy of Pop! |
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Stupid hurts! |
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Stupid people
should assist the process of natural selection or
"survival of the fittest" volunteering for mandatory
surgical sterilization. |
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Stupid people
shouldn't breed. |
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The gene pool could
use a little chlorine. |
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The number of
people watching you is directly proportional to the
stupidity of your action. |
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The problem with
the gene pool is that there are no lifeguards! |
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The purest form of
insanity is doing the same things and expecting
different results. |
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The surest sign of
ignorance is those who act like they know everything. |
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The world's a
stage, but some people are better actors with brighter
costumes! |
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There are 3 kinds
of people…those that can count, and those that cannot. |
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To be old and wise
you must first be young and dumb. |
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Treat everyone like
they're worth a million, even if they don't have any
cents. |
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True genius always
borders on insanity. |
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We are all
dysfunctional. Get over it! |
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We have enough
youth. How about a fountain of SMART? |
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When I thought I
finally had a handle on life, it fell off. |
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You can't fix
stupid. |
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You laugh because I
am different. I laugh because you are the same. |
