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Hey, Stupid
© 2004 Stephen D. Glass
All Rights Reserved.




You'll never learn anything being the smartest person in the room.
"For every person with a spark of genius, there are a hundred with ignition trouble." --- Kurt Hanks
"It is often better to keep one's mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt." 
--- Mark Twain
"Nothing is infinite, except the universe and stupid people, and sometimes, I doubt the universe." 
--- Albert Einstein
"One fourth of the people of the world are against everything 100% of the time." --- Robert Kennedy
"Risk takers often fail. So do morons. In practice, it's difficult to sort them out." --- S. Adams
Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason so few people engage in it." 
--- Henry Ford
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." 
--- Albert Einstein
99% of the people who cause accidents are idiots, and 99% of the idiots are caused by accidents.
A small mind and a big mouth are usually found in the same place.
A wise man knows his ignorance. A fool thinks he knows everything.
A wise man once said, "I don't know. Go ask a woman."
A wise man understands that he should always have more sense than dollars.
Ah, brain cramp...nothing's coming! Maybe tomorrow.
An idiot with a computer is a faster, better idiot!
Anyone can grab a tiger by the tail. The difference between a fool and a genius is knowing what to do next!
As much as you might want to, sometimes it's better not to make fun of the stupid!
At the fountain of knowledge most are content with just a sip.
Better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Don't be so open minded that your brains fall out!
Dung is no saint, but where it falls it works miracles.
Even a foolish man seems wise when he is silent.
Every time I try to see things your way, I get a headache.
Everybody's crazy. It's all just a matter of degree!
Everyone adds happiness to this place...some when they enter, others when they leave.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some people just don't have film.
Everyone has the right to make mistakes, but don't you think you've taken someone else's turn?
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.
Go sell crazy somewhere else, because we're all filled up here.
He had too many issues, so I cancelled his subscription.
I blame it all on my roots.
I can only please one person per day. Today is NOT your day, and tomorrow is not looking good EITHER!
I could insult your intelligence, but then you probably wouldn't understand the insult.
I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to do.
I don't need a miracle, but I could use a push in the right direction.
I don't suffer from insanity. I'm loving every minute of it.
I have to remember to put the corks in my ears at night or my brain will leak out.
I keep pulling myself up by my bootstraps, but they keep breaking.
I learn by my mistakes. Trouble is that it will take more than one lifetime to learn all that.
I learn more and more about less and less until eventually I know everything about nothing.
I live in a state of perpetual confusion.
I once had a handle on life, but it broke.
I refuse to have a battle of the wits with an unarmed person.
I tried sanity once, but it was an excruciating bore.
I'd love to have a battle of wits with you, but I never fight an unarmed person!
If a$$holes could fly, this place would be an airport.
If it is called common sense, why doesn't everybody have it?
If life's a bowl of cherries, why do I always get the pits?
If stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out?
If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning!
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull!
If you think education is expensive, look at the price of ignorance!
If you want to give God a good laugh, tell Him your Plan for Life.
If you were as dumb as dirt, then you would cover an acre!
If you're not playing with a full deck, then don't shuffle in public.
Ignorance is like dirt…it got all over everyone when we were created. Thank God some of us learned how to bathe!
Ignorance on your behalf does not constitute an emergency on my behalf.
Insanity takes its toll. Please have correct change!
Intelligence has its limits. Stupidity hasn't found its bounds yet.
Intelligence is what you do when you don't know what to do.
It may be your sole purpose in life is to simply serve as a warning to others.
It should be a law that all stupid people stay home when I go out.
It’s unfortunate ignorance isn't painful.
It's not wise to argue with a 900 pound Gorilla about the ownership of bananas.
Just when you feel down about yourself, turn on Jerry Springer!
Just when you think you have everything foolproof, you find a really talented fool.
Kids in the backseat cause accidents. Accidents in the backseat cause kids.
KISS...Keep It Simple Stupid!
Learn from the mistakes of others. You will not live long enough to make them all yourself.
Life is tough, but it's tougher if you're stupid.
Make something idiot proof, and they will build a better idiot.
Minds are like parachutes. They only function when open.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Never debate a fool for the audience won't know who he is.
Never engage in a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed!
Never lose your friends over something stupid.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Never underestimate the power of ignorance in large groups.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people...period.
No brains. No headache.
No ma'am. Stupidity isn’t against the law, but we discourage it anyway.
No. I'm not crazy, but I am a carrier!
Not every one can learn from other peoples' mistakes. Some of us have to be the other people.
Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we?
Of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most!
One must be careful not to spread ignorance. It's deadly.
Otis has some trouble in his brain.
People are basically stupid. Give them a chance, and they'll prove it every time.
Sometimes, I feel like two-thirds Rice Crispies…past Snap and Crackle, but just shy of Pop!
Stupid hurts!
  Stupid people should assist the process of natural selection or "survival of the fittest" volunteering for mandatory surgical sterilization.
Stupid people shouldn't breed.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
The problem with the gene pool is that there are no lifeguards!
The purest form of insanity is doing the same things and expecting different results.
The surest sign of ignorance is those who act like they know everything.
The world's a stage, but some people are better actors with brighter costumes!
There are 3 kinds of people…those that can count, and those that cannot.
To be old and wise you must first be young and dumb.
Treat everyone like they're worth a million, even if they don't have any cents.
True genius always borders on insanity.
We are all dysfunctional. Get over it!
We have enough youth. How about a fountain of SMART?
When I thought I finally had a handle on life, it fell off.
You can't fix stupid.
You laugh because I am different. I laugh because you are the same.









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