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Fountain of Wisdom: Attorneys
© 2003 Stephen D. Glass
All Rights Reserved.
Americans' favorite inspirational, motivational funny sayings, phrases and quotes from lawyers, attorneys, and others in the legal professions from all over the U.S.


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"As a peacemaker, the lawyer has a superior opportunity of being a good man." --- Abraham Lincoln
"But the mere truth won't do. You must have a lawyer." --- Charles Dickens
"For every person with a spark of genius, there are a hundred with ignition trouble." --- Kurt Hanks
"I will save your sole. I will heel you. I will even dye for you." --- Shoe Cobbler
"If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes." --- Louis Grizzard
"It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen." --- Oliver Wendell Holmes
"It's a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up." --- Muhammad Ali
"The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled." --- Plutarch
"The sole advantage of power is that you can do more good." --- Balthasar Gracian
A bird in the hand makes it hard to shave.
A good lawyer will save you thousands!
A ship is safe in the harbor, but one does not build a ship to sit in the harbor.
A wise man admits that he does not know.
A wise man once said, "I don't know. Go ask a woman."
A word is the skin of a living thought.
Admit nothing, deny nothing, make them prove it.
  Alabama Law requires the following…"No representation is made that the quality of legal services performed are greater than the services performed by other attorneys."
All the stars in the skies are but a small reflection of the love in your eyes.
Always leave things better than they were before you found them.
As a practical matter...
But who is to guard the guards themselves?
Call us for all your legal needs!
Careful planning makes the difference.
Caveat Emptor!
Choose to be a survivor, not a victim.
Commercialism and development equal profit.
Definition of Insanity... doing what you've always done and expecting things to change.
Did you see which way that ambulance went?
Do judges all wear pants under their robes?
Do what you can afford.
Don't meander in the maze of mediocrity.
Don't put off doing what you want to do. This is NOT a dress rehearsal.
Don't quote me.
Don't take those who you love for granted, because when you wake up the next morning they just might not be there.
Don't take yourself too seriously. No one else does.
Either a law supports us, doesn't apply, or HAS to be changed."  PERIOD
Enter laughing.
Ever been screwed by a lawyer? Well, here's your chance!
Everybody needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another Scotch.
Everyone has their own personal battle. How is yours going?
Everything worthwhile comes from focused passion and unrelenting tenacity.
Failure to act now 'cause it's never been done before means nothing will ever get done for the first time.
Fight to win, be honorable, and keep your word.
First, we'll give him his rights. Then, we'll hang him.
G is for Gucci, not for Guilt.
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
God, give me patience. But, please hurry.
Golf is the true meaning of life.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Having a great time! Wish you were beer!
He who dies with the most toys STILL dies!
He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare.
He who takes a chance, has a chance.
Honor is a man's gift to himself.
Hope for the best. Plan for the worst.
How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?
How come there's no Tech Support for life?
I am as confused as a baby in a topless bar!
I am not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I can handle the truth. It's deception that gives me a hard time.
I can't imagine Socrates saying that.
I cried because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet.
I did NOT do it.
I do not believe in the no-win scenario.
I do not care to speak ill of any man, said Dr. Johnson, "but I have heard that he is an attorney."
I do not defend a person's morality, but defend their constitutional right to maintain that morality.
I don't need a miracle, but I could use a push in the right direction.
I dropped a tear in the ocean. When I find it will be the day I stop loving you.
I hate to lose more than I like to win.
  I may never know what they learned on the playing fields of Eton, but on the playgrounds where I grew up, you learned pretty quick not to mess with family.
I only practice law to be able to afford computers.
I specialize in winning.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it left.
I'd rather have a little bit of something than a whole lot of nothing.
If all the world's a stage, we need a better director!
If I had life to live over again, I'd pay better attention.
If I were blonde, would I know it?
If it is to be, it is up to me!
If it weren't for the last minute a lot of things wouldn't get done.
If losing is not an option, then you have no choice.
  If man is to achieve and maintain self-esteem, the fundamental requirement is that he preserve an indomitable will to understand.
If not now, when? If not I, who?
If you are not living on the edge, you are taking up too much room!
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you but make allowances for their doubts, then you will be a man, my son.
If you can't beat 'em, appeal it.
If you can't blind 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bulls^!t.
If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.
If you can't have what you want, then it's time to start wanting what you have.
If you follow the herd, guess what you're bound to step in?
If you live with one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, all you do is p*ss all over today.
If you must choose between being liked or being respected, do what is right and be respected.
If you object, I can still over rule because I make the rules when it comes to matters of my heart.
If you really want lobster, don't settle for licking the top of a tuna fish can.
If you slip and fall, give me a call.
If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain.
I'll take the fifth.
I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of retiring.
I'm worth it.
In court, poor folks EXPECT justice. Rich folks BUY it!
In death, fear the gods. In life, fear the law courts.
Innocent, until proven guilty.
Isn't that just a little unreasonable?
It is not good to be partial to the wicked or to deprive the innocent of justice. --- Proverbs 18:5
It is the nature of love to create. It is the nature of hate to destroy.
It it better to have debated a question without resolving it, than to have resolved a question without debating it!
It's better to have money and not need it, than to need it and not have it.
It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
It's going to be interesting to see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog.
It's only illegal if you get caught!
It's only money.
It's the same exact thing, only different.
Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Just do it. Just do it right. Just do it, right now.
Just sue it!
Just what the world needs: another lawyer.
Justice through the application of valid science is the primary goal of any attorney who handles complex litigation.
Keep working. Millions on welfare depend on you.

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