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Fountain of Wisdom

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Fountain of Wisdom: The Classics
© 2003 Stephen D. Glass
All Rights Reserved.
The best collection of Americans' favorite inspirational, motivational funny sayings, phrases and quotes from all over the U.S.

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Bad days were no fun, so I stopped having them.
Bad things happen. The real question is what are you going to do about it!
Be a fountain, not a drain.
Be brilliant only for short periods of time. Otherwise, people start expecting it from you.
Be careful playing leapfrog with razorbacks!
Be careful what you say. Your tongue can be a deadly weapon. Don't let it go off accidentally.
Be careful. The toes you step on today might be attached to the a$$ you have to kiss tomorrow!  That's politics.
Be kind to others on your way up. You will need them on your way down.
Be nice to your kids. Remember, they will choose your nursing home.
Be yourself. No one else could be better qualified!
Beam me up Scotty. There's no intelligent life here.
Because I'm the Mommy, that's why!
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
Behind every cloud there is a rainbow!
Better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Big M little m, many mumbling mice, making midnight music in the moonlight, mighty nice.
Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not get bent out of shape!
Bloom where you are planted!
BOHICA (Bend over. Here it comes again.)
Boring people get bored easily.
Boy, what a waste of blood!
Build a bridge, and get over it!
Calgon, take me away. (please!)
Careful is a naked man crossing over a barbed wire fence...careful now!
Character is something you have to have, not be.
Cheaters never win, and winners never get caught cheating.
Cherish every moment, and never regret growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.
Children need your presence more than your presents.
Chocolate is a main food group.
Computers do what you tell them to do, not what you want them to do.
Computers drive me crazy, but Expresso drives me.
Confucius says, "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot".
Confucius says, "Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient."
Consciousness is that annoying time between naps.
Could I have been anyone other than me?
Daddy, it's my turn to play on the computer.
Definition of Insanity... doing what you've always done and expecting things to change.
Denial. It’s not just a river in Egypt.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it still is?
Diplomacy is the ability to tell a man to go to hell so that he'll look forward to making the trip.
Do judges all wear pants under their robes?
Do not assume. It makes an "ass" out of "u & me".
Do you believe in love at first site, or should I walk by again?
Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?
Dogs come when they're called. Cats take a message and get back with you.
Don't be a hard rock when you really are a gem.
Don't be afraid to step on somebody's toes. If they were moving, they wouldn't get stepped on.
Don't be mad at a turnip if it can't give you grape juice.
Don't be so open minded that your brains fall out!
Don't bring a knife to a gunfight.
Don't eat yellow snow.
Don't judge a book by its cover. You may miss out on a good story.
Don't let the devil ride, because he'll want to drive!
Don't let your mouth write a check your tail can't cash.
Don't look back, unless you plan on going there.
Don't major in minor things.
Don't make a bad moment into a bad day.
Don't make fun of nerds. Someday, they may be your boss!
Don't make me slap you naked.
Don't make me sound like my mother.
Don't marry the one you can live with. Marry the one you can't live without.
Don't pee in the pool!
Don't poke sticks at the monkey.
Don't put crazy glue and eye drops on the same shelf.
Don't run faster than your Guardian Angel can fly.
Don't sell me any dreams, because I'm not sleepy.
Don't squat with your spurs on.
Don't take yourself too seriously. Noone else does.
Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
Don't tell me how rough the seas are. Just bring the dang ship to shore.
Don't tell me how to build a watch. Just tell me what time it is.
Don't tork my jaws!
Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Don't worry about the mule. Load the wagon.
Don't worry with the ants when you're being run over by elephants.
Don't worry. The horse doesn't want to fall anymore than you do!
Due to economic restraints, the light at the end of the tunnel will be out until further notice.
Dung is no saint, but where it falls it works miracles.
Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the remainder of the day.
Eat lunch or be lunch.
Empty what's full, fill what's empty, and scratch where it itches.
Eternity somewhere...the choice is yours, for now!
ETERNITY: smoking, or non-smoking?
Even a blind chicken finds a corn.
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Even a foolish man seems wise when he is silent.
Even the losers get lucky sometime.
Even when you fall flat on your face, you're still going forward!
Every day above ground is a great day!
Every time I try to see things your way, I get a headache.
Everybody's crazy. It's all just a matter of degree!
Everyone adds happiness to this place...some when they enter, others when they leave.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some people just don't have film.
Everyone has the right to make mistakes, but don't you think you've taken someone else's turn?
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.
Everything happens for a reason, so let's have a cup of tea.
Everything I ever needed to know, I learned in kindergarten.
Experience is the worst teacher. It gives the test before presenting the lesson.
Experience is what you get when you get what you didn't want.

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****Fountain of Wisdom collection of favorite sayings and quotes
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My GOD | Never | One of a Kind | Only You! | Power of Words | Tell Me About "IT" | That's Life! | Walk the Walk |

More Collections of favorite sayings and quotes
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