|
|
|
|
|
Bad days were no
fun, so I stopped having them. |
|
|
Bad things happen.
The real question is what are you going to do about it! |
|
|
Be a fountain, not
a drain. |
|
|
Be brilliant only
for short periods of time. Otherwise, people start
expecting it from you. |
|
|
Be careful playing
leapfrog with razorbacks! |
|
|
Be careful what you
say. Your tongue can be a deadly weapon. Don't let it go
off accidentally. |
|
|
Be careful. The
toes you step on today might be attached to the a$$ you
have to kiss tomorrow! That's politics. |
|
|
Be kind to others
on your way up. You will need them on your way down. |
|
|
Be nice to your
kids. Remember, they will choose your nursing home. |
|
|
Be yourself. No one
else could be better qualified! |
|
|
Beam me up Scotty.
There's no intelligent life here. |
|
|
Because I'm the
Mommy, that's why! |
|
|
Beer. Now there's a
temporary solution. |
|
|
Behind every cloud
there is a rainbow! |
|
|
Better to be
thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all
doubt. |
|
|
Big M little m,
many mumbling mice, making midnight music in the
moonlight, mighty nice. |
|
|
Blessed are the
flexible, for they shall not get bent out of shape! |
|
|
Bloom where you are
planted! |
|
|
BOHICA (Bend over.
Here it comes again.) |
|
|
Boring people get
bored easily. |
|
|
Boy, what a waste
of blood! |
|
|
Build a bridge, and
get over it! |
|
|
Calgon, take me
away. (please!) |
|
|
Careful is a naked
man crossing over a barbed wire fence...careful now! |
|
|
Character is
something you have to have, not be. |
|
|
Cheaters never win,
and winners never get caught cheating. |
|
|
Cherish every
moment, and never regret growing old. It is a privilege
denied to many. |
|
|
Children need your
presence more than your presents. |
|
|
Chocolate is a main
food group. |
|
|
Computers do what
you tell them to do, not what you want them to do. |
|
|
Computers drive me
crazy, but Expresso drives me. |
|
|
Confucius says,
"Man who stands on toilet is high on pot". |
|
|
Confucius says,
"Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient." |
|
|
Consciousness is
that annoying time between naps. |
|
|
Could I have been
anyone other than me? |
|
|
Daddy, it's my turn
to play on the computer. |
|
|
Definition of
Insanity... doing what you've always done and expecting
things to change. |
|
|
Denial. It’s not
just a river in Egypt. |
|
|
Despite the cost of
living, have you noticed how popular it still is? |
|
|
Diplomacy is the
ability to tell a man to go to hell so that he'll look
forward to making the trip. |
|
|
Do judges all wear
pants under their robes? |
|
|
Do not assume. It
makes an "ass" out of "u & me". |
|
|
Do you believe in
love at first site, or should I walk by again? |
|
|
Does a one-legged
duck swim in circles? |
|
|
Dogs come when
they're called. Cats take a message and get back with
you. |
|
|
Don't be a hard
rock when you really are a gem. |
|
|
Don't be afraid to
step on somebody's toes. If they were moving, they
wouldn't get stepped on. |
|
|
Don't be mad at a
turnip if it can't give you grape juice. |
|
|
Don't be so open
minded that your brains fall out! |
|
|
Don't bring a knife
to a gunfight. |
|
|
Don't eat yellow
snow. |
|
|
Don't judge a book
by its cover. You may miss out on a good story. |
|
|
Don't let the devil
ride, because he'll want to drive! |
|
|
Don't let your
mouth write a check your tail can't cash. |
|
|
Don't look back,
unless you plan on going there. |
|
|
Don't major in
minor things. |
|
|
Don't make a bad
moment into a bad day. |
|
|
Don't make fun of
nerds. Someday, they may be your boss! |
|
|
Don't make me slap
you naked. |
|
|
Don't make me sound
like my mother. |
|
|
Don't marry the one
you can live with. Marry the one you can't live without. |
|
|
Don't pee in the
pool! |
|
|
Don't poke sticks
at the monkey. |
|
|
Don't put crazy
glue and eye drops on the same shelf. |
|
|
Don't run faster
than your Guardian Angel can fly. |
|
|
Don't sell me any
dreams, because I'm not sleepy. |
|
|
Don't squat with
your spurs on. |
|
|
Don't take yourself
too seriously. Noone else does. |
|
|
Don't talk unless
you can improve the silence. |
|
|
Don't tell me how
rough the seas are. Just bring the dang ship to shore. |
|
|
Don't tell me how
to build a watch. Just tell me what time it is. |
|
|
Don't tork my jaws! |
|
|
Don't trouble
trouble until trouble troubles you. |
|
|
Don't try to teach
a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig. |
|
|
Don't worry about
the mule. Load the wagon. |
|
|
Don't worry with
the ants when you're being run over by elephants. |
|
|
Don't worry. The
horse doesn't want to fall anymore than you do! |
|
|
Due to economic
restraints, the light at the end of the tunnel will be
out until further notice. |
|
|
Dung is no saint,
but where it falls it works miracles. |
|
|
Each snowflake in
an avalanche pleads not guilty. |
|
|
Eagles may soar,
but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. |
|
|
Eat a live toad the
first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will
happen to you the remainder of the day. |
|
|
Eat lunch or be
lunch. |
|
|
Empty what's full,
fill what's empty, and scratch where it itches. |
|
|
Eternity
somewhere...the choice is yours, for now! |
|
|
ETERNITY: smoking,
or non-smoking? |
|
|
Even a blind
chicken finds a corn. |
|
|
Even a broken clock
is right twice a day. |
|
|
Even a foolish man
seems wise when he is silent. |
|
|
Even the losers get
lucky sometime. |
|
|
Even when you fall
flat on your face, you're still going forward! |
|
|
Every day above
ground is a great day! |
|
|
Every time I try to
see things your way, I get a headache. |
|
|
Everybody's crazy.
It's all just a matter of degree! |
|
|
Everyone adds
happiness to this place...some when they enter, others
when they leave. |
|
|
Everyone has a
photographic memory. Some people just don't have film. |
|
|
Everyone has the
right to make mistakes, but don't you think you've taken
someone else's turn? |
|
|
Everyone is
entitled to be stupid, but you are abusing the
privilege. |
|
|
Everything happens
for a reason, so let's have a cup of tea. |
|
|
Everything I ever
needed to know, I learned in kindergarten. |
|
|
Experience is the
worst teacher. It gives the test before presenting the
lesson. |
|
|
Experience is what
you get when you get what you didn't want. |
