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Fountain of Wisdom

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Fountain of Wisdom: The Classics
© 2003 Stephen D. Glass
All Rights Reserved.
The best collection of Americans' favorite inspirational, motivational funny sayings, phrases and quotes from all over the U.S.

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Indecision may or may not be my problem!
Insanity takes its toll. Please have correct change!
Intelligence has its limits. Stupidity hasn't found its bounds yet.
Intelligence is what you do when you don't know what to do.
It ain't over, until the pathologist says it is.
It doesnít take a mental giant to be a criminal.
It doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home.
It is better to be pissed off than pissed on!
It is better to be silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.
It is better to burn out than fade away.
It is better to give others a piece of your heart than a piece of your mind.
It is well to remember that the whole universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
It isn't cheating if she is in a different area code.
It may be the early bird that catches the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese!
It may be your sole purpose in life is to simply serve as a warning to others.
It only makes sense when you infer what I imply.
It should be a law that all stupid people stay home when I go out.
Itís easier to ask forgiveness than to ask for permission.
Itís nice to be important, but itís more important to be nice.
Itís unfortunate ignorance isn't painful.
It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing milkbone underwear!
It's a hardware glitch. We don't make miostakes.
It's all about mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
It's better to be "looked over" than be "overlooked"!
It's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask for permission.
It's hard to remember you came to drain the swamp, when you're up to your rear in alligators.
It's MY WAY or the highway!
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
It's not a six pack. It's a support group!
It's not how deep you fish. It's how you wiggle your worm.
It's not that life is so short. It's that youíre dead for so long!
It's not the fall but the sudden stop that hurts you.
It's not wise to argue with a 900 pound Gorilla about the ownership of bananas.
It's the same exact thing, only different.
I've never lost. I was just a little behind when time ran out.
I've never met a crook that fished.
Just because I can't have it all doesn't mean I don't WANT it all!
Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean everyone's not out to get you!
Just what the world needs: another lawyer.
Just when you feel down about yourself, turn on Jerry Springer!
Just when you think you have everything foolproof, you find a really talented fool.
Just when you think you have it all figured out, the rules change. Life is full of bumps and curves. Hang on and enjoy the ride!
Keep working. Millions on welfare depend on you.
Kids are what make us old and keep us young.
Kids can be a handful, but always a heart full.
Kids in the backseat cause accidents. Accidents in the backseat cause kids.
KISS...Keep It Simple Stupid!
Leaders are like eagles. They don't flock. You find them one at a time.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You will not live long enough to make them all yourself.
Let them that donít want none have memories of not getting any. 
And, let that not be their punishment, but their reward.
Let's go. We're burning sunlight.
Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
Life is a stage you walk across only once. STRUT!
Life is hard by the yard, but by the inch itís a cinch.
Life is just a bowl of queries.
Life is like a bicycle. You don't fall off, unless you stop pedaling.
Life is like a bowl of cherries, but why so many pits?
Life is like a hang glider. There will always be ups and downs, but in order to land you must first fly.
Life is like a kiss. We can think of it, dream of it, but we can't fully enjoy it unless we share it with someone else.
Life is like a mirror. Frown, and it frowns with you. Laugh, and it returns the greeting.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. It's only so long, and can only be used once.
Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends upon what you put into it!
Life is like an Interstate System. Your destiny depends on what exit you get off.
Life is like sandpaper... rough!
Life is like the mail. Sometimes, you just don't get it.
Life is not a spectator sport.
Life is the process of getting used to the unexpected.
Life is too short for lite beer.
Life is too short to be a jerk!
Life is too short to dance with ugly girls.
Life is tough, but it's tougher if you're stupid.
Life isn't measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Life's a garden. Dig it!
Life's too short to waste and too long to haste.
Live life as an exclamation, not an explanation.
Live life like you'll live to be 100, but have your bags packed. You may be leaving tomorrow!
Live so your autograph will be wanted, not your fingerprints.
Live your life so that you wouldn't be afraid to give your parrot to the town gossip.
Looking for a good woman is like searching for a parking spot. All the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
Love and a cough cannot be hid.
Love is like a butterfly. It goes wherever it pleases, and it pleases wherever it goes.
Love is what you want. Reality is what you get!
Make barbeque, not war.
Make each day THE day.
Make something idiot proof, and they will build a better idiot.
Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it!
Many a sweet tune was played on an old fiddle.
Marriage has a way of making you want your rib back.
Marriage is like a box of candy. You have to buy the whole box to get one little piece!
Marriage is like a vaccination...after a few, one should work.
May I always be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
May the best of the past be the worse of tomorrow.
May the sun always shine upon your face and the wind be forever at your back.
  May you always find three welcomes in lifeÖin a garden during summer, at a fireside during winter,
and whatever the day or season in the kind eyes of a friend.
May you be in Heaven 15 minutes before the Devil knows your dead. --- Irish Proverb
May your heart's flame be your guiding light!
Men are from Marseilles. Women are from Venice.
Men are like a bus. One comes along every 5 minutes.
Men are like pantyhose...just when you need them most, they run.
  Merely because the law permits us to make fools of ourselves does not mean that we have to take advantage of every opportunity presented to us for doing so.
Might as well enjoy life. You can't get out alive.
Minds are like parachutes. They only function when open.
Mom doesn't mean "Made Of Money".
Mom was right. Three more years and I could have been a lawyer.
Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday living.
My dead grandmother skates better than you!
  My goal in life is to amass a large assortment of interesting stories. Since I have already amassed quite a few I suppose I should amass some more.
My ice seems a bit dry. It's time for another drink!
My karma ran over my dogma.
My life must smell better than yours. You can't seem to keep your nose out of it.
My life would be perfect, if I just had a few more hours in the day.
My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
My reality check bounced.

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****Fountain of Wisdom collection of favorite sayings and quotes
| Attorneys | Counselors | Engineers | FireFighters | Law Enforcement | Military | Ministers | Mothers | Nurses |
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The Classics |

Collective Wisdom collection of favorite sayings and quotes
| Always | As a Teacher... | Be All You Can Be! | The Best Questions | Don't... | Happy Birthday! | Hey, Stupid | IF... | Love |
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My GOD | Never | One of a Kind | Only You! | Power of Words | Tell Me About "IT" | That's Life! | Walk the Walk |

More Collections of favorite sayings and quotes
| Church Marquees | The Morals of Aesop's Fables | Pledge To America | Tom Swifties |

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