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Fountain of Wisdom: Law Enforcement
© 2003 Stephen D. Glass
All Rights Reserved.
Americans' favorite inspirational, motivational funny sayings, phrases and quotes from policemen, deputies and other law enforcement officers from all over the U.S.

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O.D.A.T. Hey, it works for me.
Obey the speed limit.
Of all the manifestations of power, restraint impresses me the most.
Of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most!
Officer, the cuffs are hurting me. I can’t feel my fingers!
Oh, well!
OK, sir. We'll send the cops for your piddly @$$ problem. Is your last name spelled M-O-R-O-N?
Old age and treachery will win out over youth and strength anytime.
On advice of counsel, I refuse to comment on the grounds it might incriminate me.
On any given day, anyone can win.
  On great occasions every good officer must be ready to risk himself in going beyond the strict line
of the law, when the public preservation requires it. His motives will be a justification.
--- Thomas Jefferson (1807)
Once in a while, you get shown the light in the strangest of places, if you look at it right.
Once you rule out all of the probable, whatever is left no matter how improbable must be the truth. Elementary, my dear Watson.
One good turn gets most of the blankets!
One must allow others to be right. It consoles them for not being anything else.
One must not strike if honorably possible not to do so. But if one must strike, Strike first and strike hard. --- Theodore Roosevelt
One person can make a difference, and often does.
One shot. One kill.
One target at a time.
One who battles with monsters must take care NOT to become a monster himself.
Only in America.
Only losers do drugs.
Only the strong survive.
Opportunity knocks softly. Listen closely.
Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is to always try one more time.
Pain is temporary. Pride is forever. lets you know you're still alive.
Party hard, but stay out of trouble! It's only illegal if you get caught!
People sleep peacefully in their beds at night because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.
People who drive like idiots keep me employed.
People who live in glass houses…shouldn't.
Persistence prevails.
Petty thieves go to jail, while great thieves get elected.
Pick up this house. Right now!
Play hard. It will pay off in the end.
Please don’t be THAT guy.
Please hold on to the lap bar while the ride is still in motion!
Please protect those who protect others, and maybe once, say thanks.
Police brutality means acting as a normal person would under the stresses of police work without the police officer’s self discipline.
Police Officer. That's what I am, not who I am.
  Police officers really are unique people, because when the rest of us are running away, they are running towards the dangerous unknown.
Police work gives you the test first, and the lesson later.
Police work is 90% boredom, 9% sheer terror and 1% coffee and doughnuts.
Police work is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get!
Police! Stop!
Politicians are like diapers. They need frequent changing, for the same reasons.
Poor planning on your part does not make an emergency for me.
Press hard... 5 copies!  Have a nice day.
Promise you won't forget me ever, not even when I’m a hundred.
Protect and serve... after my coffee.
Pull over!
Put it in the wind, son!
Put your hands on the car.
Quit whining, and suck it up!
Quitters never win, and winners never quit.
Reaching a goal is easy. Being happy after that is the hard part.
Reality. Boy, I've heard the fantasies!
Really don't see the point of it all.
Regret for things we have done will diminish in time. It is regret for things we did not do that is inconsolable.
Remember the fallen.
Remember to never get so worried about what goes on about you that you forget what goes on
inside of you.
Reward yourself first.
Robbery, arson, fraud, burglary, assault, etc. It's all the same...taking out the trash.
Rules are made for breaking, and I'm made for punishing.
Say what you mean, and mean what you say!
Secret to life…faster cars, older whiskey, younger women and more money!
See if that Willy P will get them out of that building!
See things as they are, not as they appear.
Self-esteem is your greatest asset.
Separated, our fingers will let sand through, but squeezed tightly together our fist can make a strong blow!
Share with your children the respect of others.
Shoot first. Ask questions later!
Show me the money!
Silence makes no mistakes.
Situations may not work out the way you want them. However, they work out the way they're supposed to.
Slow down and live.
Slower traffic stay right.
Small minds flex muscles, but 'good' will always wins in the end.
Smith & Wesson -- the original point and click interface.
So little time, so many violators.
So, you want to see the judge?
So, do you think you can run faster than a bullet?
Soldier, Sailor, Tinker man, Spy… What new adventure shall I try?
Solve no crime before overtime.
Some days you are the dog, and other days you are the fire hydrant.
Some days you get the bear. Some days the bear gets you.
Some men see things as they are and ask “Why”. I dream things that never were and ask “Why not?”
Someday, I will stop settling for what I have and go for what I want!
Someday the law of averages is going to catch up, and the Cubs are going to win the World Series! HOLY COW!
Something to do…someone to love…something to look forward to.
Something’s wrong with the justice system. Our jails are full of innocent people.
Sometimes, you’re the bug. Sometimes, you’re the windshield.
Sometimes, it just be that way!
Sometimes, the journey is just as important as the destination.
Sorry about your bad luck. Don’t go away mad. Just go away.
Sounds like a civil problem, (sir/madam). You need to call a lawyer.
Sow good. Reap good.
Speed doesn't kill. It's the sudden stop at the end that kills.
Spend your time where it needs to be spent...with your kids.
Squirt, leave the computer alone or you're grounded!
Stand back. Let me handle this.
Stand up for what is right, even if you're standing alone.
Strong timber doesn't come with ease…the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees.
Stupid in public and pissing off the police are the two easiest ways to go to JAIL.
Stupid people shouldn't breed.
Success comes with a backbone, not a wishbone.
Success is just luck. Ask any failure.
Success is measured by what a person is, not what a person has.
Sure you can have my gun... BULLETS FIRST!
Take a bite out of crime. Call K9!
Take care of Earth. Suitable living planets are hard to find!
Take ‘em all in. Let GOD sort it out!
Take it (not personally) and deal with it.
Take no guff and give no slack. Just hook 'em & book 'em, and don't look back!
Take time each day to enjoy the beauty of nature.
Talk's cheap.
Teach, train, proof, and test with limited options…
Tell it right the first time. Then you don't have to explain.
Tell me not, in mournful numbers, life is but an empty dream!
Thank God, there’s a new day coming. I could use a break!
That badge looks really stupid on you.
THAT was NOT in my job description!
That, without remedy, is without regard.
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. And, no, I won't take a polygraph.
  That's o.k. Take your time. Get your bullsh*t story together, and let me know when you’re ready
to give me ONE story that you're willing to stick with, OK?
That’s right, tough guy!
That's what I'm talkin' about.
That’s what someone said!

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