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Fountain of Wisdom: Law Enforcement
© 2003 Stephen D. Glass
All Rights Reserved.
Americans' favorite inspirational, motivational funny sayings, phrases and quotes from policemen, deputies and other law enforcement officers from all over the U.S.

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If a man had enough sense to treat his lady like a thoroughbred, sheíd never grow into an old nag!
If a man is burdened with the blood of another, let him be a fugitive until death.  Let no one help him.
If at first you don't succeed, shoot again.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
If at first you don't succeed, you're about average.
If at first you donít win, try and try again!
"If everyone's thinking alike, then no one's thinking!" --- General George S. Patton
If everything was perfect, how would you know?
If found guilty, youíre sentenced to a good haircut.
If I can't get it to work, I guess I must have broken it. (mostly relationships)
If I don't ask 'Why me?' after my victories, I cannot ask 'Why me?' after my setbacks and disasters.
--- Arthur Ashe
If I was any better, there would be two of me!
If I wasn't so sure of myself, then who would be?
If it ain't broke, don't fix it!
If it can be thought of, it can be accomplished.
If it is called common sense, why doesn't everybody have it?
If it is worth doing, do it NOW!
If it looks good and feels good, it must be bad for you.
If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.
If it was a perfect world, people in my line of work would not have jobs!
If itís not illegal, do it and then maybe do it again, if it was fun!
If itís not on paper, it didnít happen.
If it's worth doing, do it right the first time.
If itís worth shooting once, itís worth shooting twice.
If life throws you a lemon, run to a police officer and complain of a drive by fruiting.
If life was a big truck, what would be just passing you by, or getting run over by it?
If the people lead, the leaders will follow!
If the truth sounds better than a lie, tell the truth. If a lie sounds better than the truth, tell the truth anyway.
If there is a continual going to the well, one day there will be a smashing of the pitcher.
If we are to better the future, we must disturb the present.
If we can't play dirty, then we don't want to play at all.
If we could not laugh, we would all go insane.
If you want to own the body, youíve got to pay the rent!
If you always do what you have always done, you will get what you have always got.
If you are not afraid to die, you never will.
If you believe it, you can achieve it.
If you can dream it, you can do it. --- Walt Disney
If you can perceive, you can achieve.
If you can't be true to yourself, who can you be with!
If you can't beat Ďem, join Ďem. Then beat Ďem from the inside!
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with B.S.
If you can't make it, fake it; but when in doubt, chicken out!
If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
If you didn't do it, why did you give me the victimís wallet when I asked for your identification?
If you donít believe in yourself, nobody else will.
If you don't have pictures, I didn't do it!
If you don't like cops, imagine life without us!
If you don't like it, then don't look.
If you don't like me, bite me!
If you don't want to get wet, stay on the shore!
If you donít want to know the answer, then donít ask the question!
If you fail to prepare, then you've prepared to fail.
If you fall off, get back on.
If you got it, FLAUNT it!
If you have a disability and you let it stop you from doing what you love, then the disability has the control, not you!
If you have a dislike for the police, then call a friend when you need help. See if he will lay down his life for you.
If you limit your training, you limit your options.
If you love something, set it free. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it.
If you must drink and drive, I'll provide the chaser!
If you need it tomorrow, you should have given it to me two weeks ago!
If you never walked my shoes, you donít know.
If you run from a bike officer, you go to jail, TIRED!
If you think you can or if you think you can't, youíre probably right!
If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
If you want it done right, you have to do it yourself.
If you want it, reach out and grab it.
If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.
If you wonít let me search, Iíll get my dog out.
If you would have put the ski mask on before you went into the store...
If you're coasting, you're probably going downhill.
If youíre not living on the edge, youíre taking up too much room.
If youíre shooting for the moon and fall among the stars, youíre still ahead of the game.
If your goal in learning is to verify that you are correct, you will not learn the truth.
If youíre nice to me, I'll be nice to you.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are upside down!
If youíre so smart, then why arenít you rich?
If your stick isnít long enough to reach the bottom of the pot, youíre going to burn your hand.
Imagination is greater than knowledge. --- Albert Einstein
Improvise, adapt, and overcome.
In a world of compromise, some men donít!
In a world of so much give and take, very few are willing to give what it really takes.
In God we trust. All others we run on NCIC.
In motorcycling, practice does not make perfect. But, it sure helps a lot.
In order to capture the rainbow, you have to dare the storm.
Initial success or total failure!
  Integrity in a police officer means the settled disposition, the resolve and determination,
the established habit "of doing right where there is no one to make you do it but yourself".
--- Edwin J. Delattre
Intelligence has its limits. Stupidity hasn't found its bounds yet.
Interaction is the secret of the universe.
Invincibility depends on one's self.  --- Sun Tzu
Is that the best you can do?
Is the world a better place because you're in it?
It ain't over, until the pathologist says it is.
It can probably wait until tomorrow.
It does not matter what you think of me. It only matters what I think of you!
It does not matter who you were, but who you are going to be and where you are going.
It does not matter what you know. Itís who you know that counts.
It doesn't matter where you come from. It's where you're headed that counts.
It doesnít take a mental giant to be a criminal.
It is better to deserve honors and not to have them than it is to have them and not deserve them.
It is better to sweat in peace than to bleed in war.
It is more important to do the right thing than to do things right!
It is your world. I am just living in it.
It matters to keep tryingÖgood times and bad. In the long run, it will be all right. Just keep trying.
It only makes sense when you infer what I imply.
It takes a lot of listening to hear what the rocks have to say.
It wasn't me!
It's a good day when you can say you learned something!
Itís a sad man, my friend, who's living in his own skin and canít stand the company.
It's all good.
Itís easier to ask forgiveness than to ask for permission.
  Itís got to be better to grow old regretting some things youíve done, than to grow old feeling bad about the things you could have done and did not.
Itís hard to get there, and even harder to stay!
It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys!
It's MY WAY or the highway!
It's never too late to be what you might have been. --- George Eliot
It's none of my business what other people think.
Itís not how deep you fish. Itís how you wiggle your worm.
It's not how hard you work. It's how smart you work!
It's not how you were born, or how you will die, but what you do in between that will make the difference.
It's not that life is so short. It's that youíre dead for so long!
It's not the critic who counts. The credit belongs to the man who is in the arena.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight. It's the size of the fight in the dog.
It's not the size or type of pencil that you use that matters. It is how you write your name.
It's not what you know, but what people think you know that counts.
It's not where you are that matters. It's where you are going!
It's okay to think it. Just don't say it!
It's so hard to be humble when you sit TALL in your saddle!
It's time to make friends and influence people.
It's too dangerous out here. You better get back to the station.
Itís unfortunate ignorance isn't painful.
It's what you learn after you know it all that counts!
It's your decision. You have to live with it.
Itís not a perfect system, but itís all we got.
Jaws with paws enforcing laws!
Just another curve in my long, slow road to hell...
Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean everyone's not out to get you!
Just did it...barely...Grand CanyonÖrim to rim.
Just do it! You only live once, and be glad you did it!
Just let me go fishin'!
Just one word: "Plastics".
Justice is never administered. It is simply handed out, sometimes with a slap.

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