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Fountain of Wisdom: Retired Persons
© 2003 Stephen D. Glass
All Rights Reserved.
Americans' favorite inspirational, motivational funny sayings, phrases and quotes from retired persons (retirees) and those ready to retire throughout the U.S.

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Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone.
Laughter is happiness set to music. A sense of humor is just common sense dancing.
Laughter is the best medicine.
Lazy men never change.
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
Learn something new everyday. Then, die and forget it all!
Learn to live with yourself before asking someone else to.
Let it happen, Captain.
Let no good deed go unpunished.
Let the good times roll!
Let's talk. I have time.
Lets look at the up side and think constructively!
Let's make it happen, now!
Life is a challenge. Give it your best!
Life is a garden. Dig it!
Life is a journey, not a destination.
Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved!
Life is almost over when you have each leg in a hole and you're trying to figure out which way to fall.
Life is good as long as you have someone to share it with.
Life is great!
Life is hard by the yard, but a cinch by the inch!
Life is just a chair of bowlies.
Life is just one long weekend!
Life is like wine. I hope you are sipping on the good stuff!
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Life is precious. Use it to the fullest.
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
Life is too short and valuable to spend it in a cubicle.
Life is too short to be bitter or to waste time on anything not worthwhile.
Lighten up.
Like Will Rodgers I never met a man I didn't like.
Little things mean a lot.
Live and let live!
Live as you will have wished to have lived when you are dying!
Live each day as if it will be your last.
Live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful memory.
Live in the now, one day at a time.
Live, love and eat to your heart's content.
  Live, love and share the enjoyment of your life so others may see the world through your eyes and hopefully grasp the spirit of "Aloha"!
Look at yesterday with your eyes closed and to tomorrow with your eyes wide open.
Look for the worst, hope for the best, and take what comes with a smile.
Love and memories are the best part of life.
Love is blind. Friendship closes its eyes.
Love is eternal.
Love me for who I am, not for who you want me to be.
Luck tends to come to those best prepared to received it.
Maintain a rigid state of flexibility.
Make at least one new friend a day!
Make each day a better one for someone else.
Make each day a masterpiece.
Make each day THE day.
Make the most of every day, because that is all we may have.
Make the most of every minute.
Make today a day you'd like to live forever.
Mama said, "Life begins at 50." Sure hope she's right!
Many a fine tune is played on an old fiddle.
May I have this dance?
May your heart be free, may your imagination run wild, and may your spirit never be tamed.
Most of life's disappointments are caused by unrealistic expectations.
My goal has been to leave the world a little better place for me having been here.
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
My life has been spent in one long effort to escape the common places of existence.
Nearly all men can stand adversity. If you want to test a man's character, give him power.
Never approach any subject with a closed mind.
Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Never argue with stupid.
Never baptize your cat.
Never be critical, unless you can do it better.
Never complain about what you permit.
Never explain. Your friends don't need it, and your enemies won't believe it anyway!
Never judge a book by its cover.
Never measure the height of a mountain until you've climbed it.
Never run out of the good stuff.
Never say never.
Never take a long walk off a short pier. You might get wet.
Never think less of yourself, but think of yourself less and all the things you dream of will come to you.
No matter where you go, there you are.
No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care!
Not at this time.
Nothing beats hard work.
Nothing difficult is ever easy.
Nothing is ever easy.
Now, let the government pay me.
Of all the things I've lost in life, I miss my mind the most.
Oh, what tangle web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.
Old age ain't for sissies.
Old men need love, too!
Once a lady, always a lady.
One can make a difference.
Pain is weakness leaving your body.
Paybacks are hell, as you never know when or how.
People are like flowers. Some are nice, and some are just weeds.
People are like snowflakes. There are no two alike.
People like us don't ever change. We just get old and rearrange!
Perfume to man is like perfume to a flower.
Pick your battles while asking, "Is this the hill I want to die on?" Then fight!
Plan the work, and work the plan.
Practice principled acts of logic and ruthless self-interest.
Pull my finger.
Raise your hand, please!
Raising children is like being pecked to death by chickens.
Real trust, friendship, and sincerity is proven. Be who you really are and the RIGHT person will accept you.
Relationships are not meant to be a routine. They are intended to be passionate, intimate, nurturing, and fulfilling.
Remember, the only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.
Remember, the Titanic wasn't built in a day.
Remember...the music is NOT in the piano!
Respect your elders!
Retirement is great!
Retirement is yesterday's wages.
Retirement. It's the only way to go!
Roll out the barrel. Let's have a barrel of fun.
Roll with the time and the tide.
Say what you mean, and do what you say.
Senior gentlemen need loving, too.
Sex is the most fun you can have without smiling.
Show respect to all men, grovel to none.
Shut up. Sit down. Hold on!
Sick as a dog and weak as water.
Some folks like to pass out raw deals. Some like to pass on raw deals. Some just like to pass-out. Hey, just pass the oysters.
Some things just suck pond water. The rest of life is beautiful.
Some would say I'm a senior citizen, but I look and feel much younger.
Sometimes, friends have to say good-bye.
Speak without offending, and listen without defending.
Stand Tall.
Stay focused as you stand on the threshold of your dreams.
Stay young as long as you can.
Sweet dreams. Don't let the bed bugs bite.

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