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Fountain of Wisdom: Mothers
© 2003 Stephen D. Glass
All Rights Reserved.
Americans' favorite inspirational, motivational funny sayings, phrases and quotes from mothers (moms) from all over the U.S.

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Hakuna Matata.
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
Happiness is not getting what you want. It is wanting what you have.
Hate to see you go. Love to watch you leave.
Have a life with your kids, but don't allow then to run your life for you. They'll never grow into responsible adults that way!
Hero's never know what to expect.
Hindsight is 20/20.
Home is where the heart is.
Honey, can I please use that remote?
Hope for the best, but expect the worse. That way, you won't be disappointed!
Hope is the searing prod that shoves our hearts into the peril of practical existence.
Housework makes you ugly.
How many times do I have to tell you?
I am exhausted.
I am too important!
I am what I am, and that's all that I am.
I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday.
I can be your best friend or your worst enemy!
I can only please one person per day. Today is NOT your day, and tomorrow is not looking good EITHER!
I can't stand being called "Soccer Mom".
I can't wait til they move out.
I didn't do it!
I don't answer "why" questions!
I don't ask for much... just a little food money, just a little beer money, and every now and then just a little.
I don't care if you write in my dust. Just please don't date it!
I don't get mad. I get even.
I don't think so!
I fantasize about having two men… one to COOK and one to CLEAN.
I guess it ain't tomorrow, but it is closer than yesterday.
I have not failed. I just found 10,000 ways that won't work!
I have to remember to put the corks in my ears at night or my brain will leak out.
I keep pulling myself up by my bootstraps, but they keep breaking.
I know God will only give me what I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much.
I need a vacation!
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
I once met a man who was sad because he had no shoes, until he met a man who had no feet.
I was cut out to be rich but was sewn up wrong.
I wasn't kissing him. I was telling his lips a secret.
I went to find a friend and couldn't find one anywhere. I went to be a friend and found them everywhere!
I will always love you, even though sometimes I may not like you!
I will not judge you, but I may have an opinion.
I'd rather have 15 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime full of nothing special.
If everyone were the same in this world, life would be so boring!
If for no other reason, smile for your children. Let them remember you smiling.
If God be for me, who can be against me?
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
If God is your co-pilot, you're sitting in the wrong seat!
If it ain't broke, you ain't at my house.
If it isn't fattening, has high calories, or bad for you, then it's not worth it!
If it's not broke, don't fix it.
If Jesus was standing here, would you tell him that?
If life hands you a lemon, make some lemonade.
If life were perfect, there would be nothing to laugh about.
If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
If only there were more hours in a day.
If someone else can do it, let them.
If that's the way it is, then so be it.
If the grass is greener on the other side, you aren't taking care of your own grass.
If there's a will, put me in it!
If you are truly in love, there will be no temptation.
If you believe it, you can achieve it.
If you can fix it, go for it! If not, forget it!
If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning!
If you can't be honest with yourself, how can others trust you?
If you can't bite, don't show your teeth!
If you can't handle my point of view, then don't ask.
If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all!
If you do what you did, you get what you got!
If you don't have a solution, don't open your mouth.
If you don't know what your options are, you don't have any.
If you don't smile and laugh a little, then life has just become twice as hard.
If you don't use it in three months, throw it away.
If you kids don't behave, just wait till your father gets home.
If you know better, do better.
  If you lose it and it comes back, it was meant to be. If you try to lose it and it stays on the couch and doesn't move, you either married it or gave birth to it.
If you mess with my little chicks, I'll peck you on the head.
If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours!
If you think today is a bad day, try missing it all together.
If you think you can, you're probably right. If you think you can't, you're probably right, too.
If you try one more time than you fail, then you have never failed!
If you wake me up early, you better have some coffee in your hand for me!
If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
If you want to run with the big dogs, then stay off the porch.
If you're always looking behind you, then you will never see what's right in front of you.
If you're not worth being talked about, you're probably already dead.
Ignorance is not an excuse!
Ignore ignorance.
I'll do it later.
I'll put your "nose in the corner".
I'm counting to five.
I'm having a virtual BAD HAIR day.
I'm known by many, hated by few, but respected by all.
I'm on a 30 day diet. So far, I've lost ten days.
Is this as good as it gets?
Is your homework done?
Isn't that brilliant!
It ain't happenin'.
It doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home.
It is better to give others a piece of your heart than a piece of your mind.
It is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission!
It is well to remember that the whole universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
It is well with my soul.
It is your responsibility to make yourself happy. No one can do that for you.
It takes a village to raise a child!
It takes one minute to like someone, one day to love someone, and eternity to forget someone!
It's as easy to cook for 10 as it is for two.
It's easier to childproof your guns than bulletproof your children.
It's my turn on the computer!
It's naptime!
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
It's not always worth it, but when it is, it really is.
It's ok to look back at the past. Just don't stare.
It's the unlovable that need our love the most.
It's your baby. Now, you got to rock it.
Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't mean you have to!
Just let me have five minutes to myself.
Keep family #1, because really it's all you have that's worth anything at all.

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