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Fountain of Wisdom: Salespersons
© 2003 Stephen D. Glass
All Rights Reserved.
Americans' favorite inspirational, motivational funny sayings, phrases and quotes from salespersons, account representatives, and others in sales professions in the U.S.

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Handle the present with all you've got. The future comes soon enough
Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.
Have faith in tomorrow.
He who dies with the most toys wins!
He who thinketh by the inch, yet talketh by the yard, should be kickethed by the foot.
Hit the ball out of the park so you can take your time around the bases.
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
How you doin'?
I am a spirit having a human experience, rather than a human having a spiritual experience.
I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.
I blame it all on my roots.
I can sell fire to the Devil.
I can. I can. I know I can.
I could sell you ice in winter along with the Brooklyn Bridge.
I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to do.
I don't guess.
I don't suffer from Insanity. I'm loving every minute of it.
I don't work for money. Money works for me.
I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. ---Mark Twain
I have the answer. What is the question?
I have tried and failed, but I will not give up. I will learn and try again.
I just moved to the area and I'm bored out of my mind!
I know a lot about nothing and nothing about a lot.
I like women who prefer roses on the table over diamonds around their necks.
I see a life not unlike the sea, rising and falling with each upcoming problem and solution.
I want to die in my sleep like Grandpa, not like the screaming passengers in his car.
I want to know how forever feels!
I wanted to say something about procrastination, but I'll tell you later.
I was born at night, but not last night.
I wish I'd started sooner and gotten better faster.
I would rather be the Court Jester forever than be King for a day.
I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate. ---George Burns
I'd rather be riding (Harley-Davidson motorcycles)!
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
I'd rather have a rose on my table than diamonds around my neck.
If all my friends were to jump off a bridge I wouldn't jump with them. I'd be at the bottom to catch them.
If everyone lived to their fullest capacity, we would astound ourselves!
If I can't fix it, it can't be fixed.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
If it is to be, it is up to me.
If it won't matter in 100 years, consider it!
If life is a beach, why can't I find the water?
If there be sorrow, then let it be for things undone, undreamed, unrealized, unattained.
If we don't take care of the customer, someone else will!
If we were any better, we'd be you.
If you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got.
If you are going to do something, take your time and do it right the first time.
If you are still patting yourself on the back for something you did yesterday, then you haven't done much today.
If you are walking on thin ice, you might as well dance.
If you believe, you will achieve.
If you can't dazzle them with your brilliance, then baffle them with B.S.!
If you can't say something nice about someone, call me immediately.
If you can't talk for yourself, sit back and be a nobody!
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
If you do not seek laughter at every opportunity you will get wrinkles!
If you don't know where you came from, you certainly don't know where you're going!
If you don't have time to do it right the first time, how are you going to find the time to do it again?
If you don't play, you can't win.
If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything!
If you don't talk to us today, we can't save you any money!
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop digging.
If you have a smile, you always have something to give away.
If you live right, everything works out for the good in the long run.
If you look hungry, the sandwich won't come near you.
If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours. If not, it never was!
If you think education is expensive, look at the price of ignorance!
If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, your right.
If you want it, just ask. You might get the answer you have been waiting for.
If you were as dumb as dirt, you would cover an acre!
If you work hard enough, the world will one day be yours!
If you're going after Moby Dick take along the tartar sauce.
If you're not satisfied, make a change.
If you're not the lead dog, the view never changes!
I'll be your Huckleberry.
I'm a man of few words.
I'm just peachy.
I'm just telling you the way it is.
I'm lobbying to make SPAM one of the 4 basic food groups.
I'm playing with a deck of 51 cards, and the queen of hearts is missing.
In all my perplexities and distresses the Bible has not yet failed to give me light and strength.
--- Gen. Robert E. Lee
In every dark night, there's a bright day after that.
In my opinion, I think you're right.
In order to get to the rainbows, you have to go through some rain.
In the fields of opportunity, it's plowin' time again.
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
It can't rain all the time.
It costs nothing to be kind.
It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning is winning!
It is better to be silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.
It is nice to be important, but it is also important to be nice.
It is not over until it is over.
It is the small things you do each day that determine the large outcome.
It is what it is!
It says.
It will be a great day when the schools have all the money they need, and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber.
It's the quality of the friends that you have in your life that will make you a better person.
It's better to be "looked over" than be "overlooked"!
It's better to be small and shiny than big and cast a shadow.
It's nice to be important, but it is important to be nice.
It's the service after the sale that counts!
It's your call.
Just do it.
Just smile, smile, smile!
Keep it simple stupid.
Leaders are like eagles. They don't flock. You find them one at a time.
Learn from your mistakes.
Let love fill your heart, patience calm your mind, and peace relax your soul.
Let me think about it.
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. ---Mark Twain
Let's make a million.
Life begins (again) at 50!
Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
  Life is a song-sing it. Life is a game-play it. Life is a challenge-meet it. Life is a dream-realize it. Life is a sacrifice-offer it. But, most importantly, Life is love-enjoy it!
Life is a stage! Make every moment your best!
Life is as good as you'll let it be.
Life is GRAND!
Life is just a bowl of querries.
Life is like a bowl of ice cream. Before you know it, it's gone. Let's enjoy every spoonful.
Life is like a kiss. We can think of it, dream of it, but we can't fully enjoy it unless we share it with someone else.
Life is like the mail. Sometimes, you just don't get it.
Life is not a spectator sport.
Life is the process of getting used to the unexpected.
Life is too short to be a jerk!
Life is too short to be taken seriously. --- Oscar Wilde
Life is too short to drink cheap wine.
Life is what happens while you're making other plans.
Life without visions and risk is life gone bye.
Life's a garden. Dig it!
Listen to your heart. It whispers, so listen closely.
Live and let live.
Live life as an exclamation, not an explanation.
Live so that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
Looking for a good woman is like searching for a parking spot. All the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
Love is a language in which the blind can see and the deaf can hear.
Love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe!

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