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© 2003 Stephen D. Glass
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If you believe it, you can achieve it. 
If you can dream it, you can become it.
If you can fix it, go for it! If not, forget it!
If you can guess when rocks were secret weapons, then you guessed my age.
If you can perceive, you can achieve. 
If you can read this, thank a teacher! 
If you can see the obstacle, you must have taken your eyes off the goal. 
If you can think it, you can achieve it.
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you but make allowances for their doubts, then you will
be a man, my son.
If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning!
If you can't be good, be discreet!
If you can't be good, be good at it. 
If you can't be honest with yourself, how can others trust you?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague!
If you can't be true to yourself, who can you be with! 
If you can't beat Ďem, join Ďem. Then beat Ďem from the inside! 
If you can't beat 'em, appeal it.
If you can't beat them, try harder.
If you can't bite, don't growl.
If you can't bite, don't show your teeth!
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull! 
If you can't do something about it, then forget it.
If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.
If you can't feel it, you can't heal it!
If you can't handle my point of view, then don't ask.
If you can't handle the truth, don't make it the truth!
If you can't have what you want, then it's time to start wanting what you have.
If you can't help someone, donít hurt them.
If you can't laugh at yourself, you've got a problem.
If you can't make it, fake it; but when in doubt, chicken out! 
If you can't respect yourself, you can't respect anyone or anything else.
If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch. 
If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all!
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. 
If you can't see God where you're looking, put on your tri-focals and you can see
the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
If you can't stand the heat, dial 911 and make a fireman come.
If you can't stand the heat, don't become a fireman.
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
If you can't think at freeway speed, stay in the parking lot.
If you can't win when you're dealing, get out of the game!
If you come to a fork in the road, pick it up.
If you didn't do it, why did you give me the victimís wallet when I asked for your identification? 
If you didn't want to know, you shouldn't have asked.
If you die doing what you love most, do you spend eternity doing it?
If you do what you did, you get what you got!
If you donít believe in yourself, nobody else will. 
If you donít expect anything from anyone then you wonít be disappointed. 
If you don't ask, the answer is automatically "No".
If you don't do it now, you won't. So do it!
If you don't do it, maybe nobody will.
If you don't drink, don't smoke and don't fool around; you won't live forever but it'll feel that way. 
If you don't get it, I will!
If you don't have a solution, don't open your mouth.
If you don't have anything good to say, then be quiet.
If you don't have it, then don't spend it.
If you don't have motion, you're just a civil engineer.
If you don't have pictures, I didn't do it! 
If you don't have time to make it right the first time, when are you going to have time to correct it?
  If you don't have time to sit down and talk to wild flowers for a few minutes, then you might as well
go somewhere and sell life insurance.
If you don't know how, then I will show you.
If you don't know what it is, don't pick it up.
If you don't know what your options are, you don't have any.
If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
If you don't learn from your mistakes, thereís no sense in making them.
If you don't like cops, imagine life without us! 
If you don't like it, then don't look. 
If you don't like me, Bite Me! 
If you don't like my driving, then get the hell off the sidewalk.
If you don't like today, try to miss it.
If you don't like what you are looking at in the mirror, change it.
If you don't like what you see, donít look!
If you don't make at least one mistake a day, you're not investing enough in life.
If you don't put an effort into getting what you want, you must put an effort into coping with
what you get.
If you don't put yourself in a bad situation, you don't have to get out of one.
If you don't smile and laugh a little, then life has just become twice as hard.
If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.
If you don't take a chance on love, you will always wonder "what if?"
If you don't take control of your life, someone else will.
If you don't use it in three months, throw it away.
If you don't want me to do it, don't tell me I can't.
If you don't want to get wet, stay on the shore! 
If you don't want to know the answer, then donít ask the question! 
If you don't want what you've always got, then quit doing what you've always done.
If you dwell in the past, your life is history.
If you enjoyed it half as much as me, then I enjoyed it twice as much as you!
If you fail to prepare, then you've prepared to fail. 
If you fall off, get back on. 
If you find the right person hold on to them, and cherish them. 
If you find your soul mate, hold on tight. There is but one in a lifetime.
If you follow the herd, guess what you're bound to step in?
If you fool around at the sideshows, you may miss the circus.
If you go around with your head up your butt, things are going to look really crappy.
If you got it, FLAUNT it! 
If you got it, floss it! 
If you got to go, you got to go! 
If you have a disability and you let it stop you from doing what you love, then the disability has
the control, not you! 
If you have a dislike for the police, then call a friend when you need help. See if he will lay down
his life for you. 
If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost. That is where they should be.
If you have helped change one life, you have helped change the world.
If you have not found anything you are willing to die for, then you are not really living.
If you have the faith of a mustard seed, nothing will be impossible.
If you have to think about it, it must be wrong. So, by all means, think about it.

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