CHAPTER I



"TOM!"



No answer.



"TOM!"



No answer.



"What's gone with that boy, I wonder? You TOM!"



No answer.



The old lady pulled her spectacles down and looked

over them about the room; then she put them up and

looked out under them. She seldom or never looked

THROUGH them for so small a thing as a boy; they were

her state pair, the pride of her heart, and were built

for "style," not service -- she could have seen through

a pair of stove-lids just as well. She looked perplexed

for a moment, and then said, not fiercely, but still

loud enough for the furniture to hear:



"Well, I lay if I get hold of you I'll --"



She did not finish, for by this time she was bending

down and punching under the bed with the broom,

and so she needed breath to punctuate the punches

with. She resurrected nothing but the cat.



"I never did see the beat of that boy!"



She went to the open door and stood in it and looked

out among the tomato vines and "jimpson" weeds that

constituted the garden. No Tom. So she lifted up

her voice at an angle calculated for distance and shouted:



"Y-o-u-u TOM!"



There was a slight noise behind her and she turned

just in time to seize a small boy by the slack of his

roundabout and arrest his flight.



"There! I might 'a' thought of that closet. What

you been doing in there?"



"Nothing."



"Nothing! Look at your hands. And look at

your mouth. What IS that truck?"



"I don't know, aunt."



"Well, I know. It's jam -- that's what it is. Forty

times I've said if you didn't let that jam alone I'd skin

you. Hand me that switch."



The switch hovered in the air -- the peril was desperate --



"My! Look behind you, aunt!"



The old lady whirled round, and snatched her skirts

out of danger. The lad fled on the instant, scrambled

up the high board-fence, and disappeared over it.



His aunt Polly stood surprised a moment, and then

broke into a gentle laugh.



"Hang the boy, can't I never learn anything? Ain't

he played me tricks enough like that for me to be look-

ing out for him by this time? But old fools is the big-

gest fools there is. Can't learn an old dog new tricks,

as the saying is. But my goodness, he never plays

them alike, two days, and how is a body to know what's

coming? He 'pears to know just how long he can

torment me before I get my dander up, and he knows

if he can make out to put me off for a minute or make

me laugh, it's all down again and I can't hit him a lick.

I ain't doing my duty by that boy, and that's the Lord's

truth, goodness knows. Spare the rod and spile the

child, as the Good Book says. I'm a laying up sin and

suffering for us both, I know. He's full of the Old

Scratch, but laws-a-me! he's my own dead sister's boy,

poor thing, and I ain't got the heart to lash him, some-

how. Every time I let him off, my conscience does

hurt me so, and every time I hit him my old heart most

breaks. Well-a-well, man that is born of woman is of

few days and full of trouble, as the Scripture says, and

I reckon it's so. He'll play hookey this evening, * and

[* Southwestern for "afternoon"]

I'll just be obleeged to make him work, to-morrow, to

punish him. It's mighty hard to make him work

Saturdays, when all the boys is having holiday, but he

hates work more than he hates anything else, and I've

GOT to do some of my duty by him, or I'll be the ruination

of the child."



Tom did play hookey, and he had a very good time.

He got back home barely in season to help Jim, the

small colored boy, saw next-day's wood and split the

kindlings before supper -- at least he was there in

time to tell his adventures to Jim while Jim did

three-fourths of the work. Tom's younger brother

(or rather half-brother) Sid was already through

with his part of the work (picking up chips), for he

was a quiet boy, and had no adventurous, troublesome ways.



While Tom was eating his supper, and stealing

sugar as opportunity offered, Aunt Polly asked him

questions that were full of guile, and very deep -- for

she wanted to trap him into damaging revealments.

Like many other simple-hearted souls, it was her pet

vanity to believe she was endowed with a talent for

dark and mysterious diplomacy, and she loved to con-

template her most transparent devices as marvels of

low cunning. Said she:



"Tom, it was middling warm in school, warn't it?"



"Yes'm."



"Powerful warm, warn't it?"



"Yes'm."



"Didn't you want to go in a-swimming, Tom?"



A bit of a scare shot through Tom -- a touch of

uncomfortable suspicion. He searched Aunt Polly's

face, but it told him nothing. So he said:



"No'm -- well, not very much."



The old lady reached out her hand and felt Tom's

shirt, and said:



"But you ain't too warm now, though." And

it flattered her to reflect that she had discovered that

the shirt was dry without anybody knowing that that

was what she had in her mind. But in spite of her,

Tom knew where the wind lay, now. So he forestalled

what might be the next move:



"Some of us pumped on our heads -- mine's damp yet. See?"



Aunt Polly was vexed to think she had overlooked

that bit of circumstantial evidence, and missed a trick.

Then she had a new inspiration:



"Tom, you didn't have to undo your shirt collar

where I sewed it, to pump on your head, did you?

Unbutton your jacket!"



The trouble vanished out of Tom's face. He opened

his jacket. His shirt collar was securely sewed.



"Bother! Well, go 'long with you. I'd made sure

you'd played hookey and been a-swimming. But I

forgive ye, Tom. I reckon you're a kind of a singed

cat, as the saying is -- better'n you look. THIS time."



She was half sorry her sagacity had miscarried, and

half glad that Tom had stumbled into obedient conduct

for once.



But Sidney said:



"Well, now, if I didn't think you sewed his collar

with white thread, but it's black."



"Why, I did sew it with white! Tom!"



But Tom did not wait for the rest. As he went out

at the door he said:



"Siddy, I'll lick you for that."



In a safe place Tom examined two large needles

which were thrust into the lapels of his jacket, and

had thread bound about them -- one needle carried

white thread and the other black. He said:



"She'd never noticed if it hadn't been for Sid. Confound it!

Sometimes she sews it with white, and sometimes she sews it

with black. I wish to geeminy she'd stick to one or t'other --

I can't keep the run of 'em. But I bet you I'll lam Sid for that.

I'll learn him!"



He was not the Model Boy of the village. He

knew the model boy very well though -- and loathed him.



Within two minutes, or even less, he had forgotten

all his troubles. Not because his troubles were one

whit less heavy and bitter to him than a man's are to a

man, but because a new and powerful interest bore

them down and drove them out of his mind for the time

-- just as men's misfortunes are forgotten in the excite-

ment of new enterprises. This new interest was a

valued novelty in whistling, which he had just acquired

from a negro, and he was suffering to practise it un-

disturbed. It consisted in a peculiar bird-like turn, a

sort of liquid warble, produced by touching the tongue

to the roof of the mouth at short intervals in the midst of

the music -- the reader probably remembers how to

do it, if he has ever been a boy. Diligence and attention

soon gave him the knack of it, and he strode down the

street with his mouth full of harmony and his soul full

of gratitude. He felt much as an astronomer feels who

has discovered a new planet -- no doubt, as far as strong,

deep, unalloyed pleasure is concerned, the advantage

was with the boy, not the astronomer.



The summer evenings were long. It was not dark,

yet. Presently Tom checked his whistle. A stranger

was before him -- a boy a shade larger than himself.

A new-comer of any age or either sex was an im-

pressive curiosity in the poor little shabby village of

St. Petersburg. This boy was well dressed, too --

well dressed on a week-day. This was simply as-

tounding. His cap was a dainty thing, his close-

buttoned blue cloth roundabout was new and natty,

and so were his pantaloons. He had shoes on --

and it was only Friday. He even wore a necktie, a

bright bit of ribbon. He had a citified air about him

that ate into Tom's vitals. The more Tom stared at

the splendid marvel, the higher he turned up his nose

at his finery and the shabbier and shabbier his own

outfit seemed to him to grow. Neither boy spoke. If

one moved, the other moved -- but only sidewise, in a

circle; they kept face to face and eye to eye all the time.

Finally Tom said:



"I can lick you!"



"I'd like to see you try it."



"Well, I can do it."



"No you can't, either."



"Yes I can."



"No you can't."



"I can."



"You can't."



"Can!"



"Can't!"



An uncomfortable pause. Then Tom said:



"What's your name?"



"'Tisn't any of your business, maybe."



"Well I 'low I'll MAKE it my business."



"Well why don't you?"



"If you say much, I will."



"Much -- much -- MUCH. There now."



"Oh, you think you're mighty smart, DON'T you?

I could lick you with one hand tied behind me, if I

wanted to."



"Well why don't you DO it? You SAY you can do it."



"Well I WILL, if you fool with me."



"Oh yes -- I've seen whole families in the same fix."



"Smarty! You think you're SOME, now, DON'T you?

Oh, what a hat!"



"You can lump that hat if you don't like it. I dare you

to knock it off -- and anybody that'll take a dare

will suck eggs."



"You're a liar!"



"You're another."



"You're a fighting liar and dasn't take it up."



"Aw -- take a walk!"



"Say -- if you give me much more of your sass I'll take

and bounce a rock off'n your head."



"Oh, of COURSE you will."



"Well I WILL."



"Well why don't you DO it then? What do you keep SAYING

you will for? Why don't you DO it? It's because you're afraid."



"I AIN'T afraid."



"You are."



"I ain't."



"You are."



Another pause, and more eying and sidling around each other.

Presently they were shoulder to shoulder. Tom said:



"Get away from here!"



"Go away yourself!"



"I won't."



"I won't either."



So they stood, each with a foot placed at an angle

as a brace, and both shoving with might and main,

and glowering at each other with hate. But neither

could get an advantage. After struggling till both

were hot and flushed, each relaxed his strain with

watchful caution, and Tom said:



"You're a coward and a pup. I'll tell my big brother on you,

and he can thrash you with his little finger, and I'll make

him do it, too."



"What do I care for your big brother? I've got a brother

that's bigger than he is -- and what's more, he can throw him

over that fence, too." [Both brothers were imaginary.]



"That's a lie."



"YOUR saying so don't make it so."



Tom drew a line in the dust with his big toe, and said:



"I dare you to step over that, and I'll lick you till

you can't stand up. Anybody that'll take a dare will

steal sheep."



The new boy stepped over promptly, and said:



"Now you said you'd do it, now let's see you do it."



"Don't you crowd me now; you better look out."



"Well, you SAID you'd do it -- why don't you do it?"



"By jingo! for two cents I WILL do it."



The new boy took two broad coppers out of his

pocket and held them out with derision. Tom struck

them to the ground. In an instant both boys were

rolling and tumbling in the dirt, gripped together like

cats; and for the space of a minute they tugged and tore

at each other's hair and clothes, punched and scratched

each other's nose, and covered themselves with dust

and glory. Presently the confusion took form, and

through the fog of battle Tom appeared, seated astride

the new boy, and pounding him with his fists.

"Holler 'nuff!" said he.



The boy only struggled to free himself. He was crying --

mainly from rage.



"Holler 'nuff!" -- and the pounding went on.



At last the stranger got out a smothered "'Nuff!"

and Tom let him up and said:



"Now that'll learn you. Better look out who you're

fooling with next time."



The new boy went off brushing the dust from his

clothes, sobbing, snuffling, and occasionally looking

back and shaking his head and threatening what he

would do to Tom the "next time he caught him out."

To which Tom responded with jeers, and started off

in high feather, and as soon as his back was turned the

new boy snatched up a stone, threw it and hit him be-

tween the shoulders and then turned tail and ran like

an antelope. Tom chased the traitor home, and thus

found out where he lived. He then held a position at

the gate for some time, daring the enemy to come out-

side, but the enemy only made faces at him through

the window and declined. At last the enemy's mother

appeared, and called Tom a bad, vicious, vulgar child,

and ordered him away. So he went away; but he

said he "'lowed" to "lay" for that boy.



He got home pretty late that night, and when he

climbed cautiously in at the window, he uncovered

an ambuscade, in the person of his aunt; and when

she saw the state his clothes were in her resolution

to turn his Saturday holiday into captivity at hard

labor became adamantine in its firmness.

****

Top of Page

< BACK    NEXT >

| Home | Reading Room | THE ADVENTURES OF TOM SAWYER