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 CHAPTER XXVII. 
 
I CREPT to their doors and listened; they was snor- 
ing. So I tiptoed along, and got down stairs all 
right. There warn't a sound anywheres. I peeped 
through a crack of the dining-room door, and see the 
men that was watching the corpse all sound asleep on 
their chairs. The door was open into the parlor, where 
the corpse was laying, and there was a candle in both 
rooms. I passed along, and the parlor door was open; 
but I see there warn't nobody in there but the re- 
mainders of Peter; so I shoved on by; but the front 
door was locked, and the key wasn't there. Just then 
I heard somebody coming down the stairs, back behind 
me. I run in the parlor and took a swift look around, 
and the only place I see to hide the bag was in the 
coffin. The lid was shoved along about a foot, show- 
ing the dead man's face down in there, with a wet 
cloth over it, and his shroud on. I tucked the money- 
bag in under the lid, just down beyond where his 
hands was crossed, which made me creep, they was so 
cold, and then I run back across the room and in 
behind the door. 
 
The person coming was Mary Jane. She went to 
the coffin, very soft, and kneeled down and looked in; 
then she put up her handkerchief, and I see she begun 
to cry, though I couldn't hear her, and her back was 
to me. I slid out, and as I passed the dining-room I 
thought I'd make sure them watchers hadn't seen me; 
so I looked through the crack, and everything was all 
right. They hadn't stirred. 
 
I slipped up to bed, feeling ruther blue, on accounts 
of the thing playing out that way after I had took so 
much trouble and run so much resk about it. Says I, 
if it could stay where it is, all right; because when we 
get down the river a hundred mile or two I could write 
back to Mary Jane, and she could dig him up again 
and get it; but that ain't the thing that's going to 
happen; the thing that's going to happen is, the 
money 'll be found when they come to screw on the 
lid. Then the king 'll get it again, and it 'll be a long 
day before he gives anybody another chance to smouch 
it from him. Of course I WANTED to slide down and 
get it out of there, but I dasn't try it. Every minute 
it was getting earlier now, and pretty soon some of 
them watchers would begin to stir, and I might get 
catched -- catched with six thousand dollars in my 
hands that nobody hadn't hired me to take care of. I 
don't wish to be mixed up in no such business as that, 
I says to myself. 
 
When I got down stairs in the morning the parlor 
was shut up, and the watchers was gone. There warn't 
nobody around but the family and the widow Bartley 
and our tribe. I watched their faces to see if anything 
had been happening, but I couldn't tell. 
 
Towards the middle of the day the undertaker come 
with his man, and they set the coffin in the middle of 
the room on a couple of chairs, and then set all our 
chairs in rows, and borrowed more from the neighbors 
till the hall and the parlor and the dining-room was 
full. I see the coffin lid was the way it was before, 
but I dasn't go to look in under it, with folks around. 
 
Then the people begun to flock in, and the beats 
and the girls took seats in the front row at the head of 
the coffin, and for a half an hour the people filed 
around slow, in single rank, and looked down at the 
dead man's face a minute, and some dropped in a tear, 
and it was all very still and solemn, only the girls and 
the beats holding handkerchiefs to their eyes and keep- 
ing their heads bent, and sobbing a little. There 
warn't no other sound but the scraping of the feet on 
the floor and blowing noses -- because people always 
blows them more at a funeral than they do at other 
places except church. 
 
When the place was packed full the undertaker he 
slid around in his black gloves with his softy soother- 
ing ways, putting on the last touches, and getting 
people and things all ship-shape and comfortable, and 
making no more sound than a cat. He never spoke; 
he moved people around, he squeezed in late ones, he 
opened up passageways, and done it with nods, and 
signs with his hands. Then he took his place over 
against the wall. He was the softest, glidingest, 
stealthiest man I ever see; and there warn't no more 
smile to him than there is to a ham. 
 
They had borrowed a melodeum -- a sick one; and 
when everything was ready a young woman set down 
and worked it, and it was pretty skreeky and colicky, 
and everybody joined in and sung, and Peter was the 
only one that had a good thing, according to my 
notion. Then the Reverend Hobson opened up, slow 
and solemn, and begun to talk; and straight off the 
most outrageous row busted out in the cellar a body 
ever heard; it was only one dog, but he made a most 
powerful racket, and he kept it up right along; the 
parson he had to stand there, over the coffin, and wait 
-- you couldn't hear yourself think. It was right 
down awkward, and nobody didn't seem to know what 
to do. But pretty soon they see that long-legged 
undertaker make a sign to the preacher as much as to 
say, "Don't you worry -- just depend on me." Then 
he stooped down and begun to glide along the wall, 
just his shoulders showing over the people's heads. 
So he glided along, and the powwow and racket get- 
ting more and more outrageous all the time; and at 
last, when he had gone around two sides of the room, 
he disappears down cellar. Then in about two seconds 
we heard a whack, and the dog he finished up with a 
most amazing howl or two, and then everything was 
dead still, and the parson begun his solemn talk where 
he left off. In a minute or two here comes this under- 
taker's back and shoulders gliding along the wall 
again; and so he glided and glided around three sides 
of the room, and then rose up, and shaded his mouth 
with his hands, and stretched his neck out towards the 
preacher, over the people's heads, and says, in a kind 
of a coarse whisper, "HE HAD A RAT!" Then he 
drooped down and glided along the wall again to his 
place. You could see it was a great satisfaction to the 
people, because naturally they wanted to know. A 
little thing like that don't cost nothing, and it's just the 
little things that makes a man to be looked up to and 
liked. There warn't no more popular man in town 
than what that undertaker was. 
 
Well, the funeral sermon was very good, but pison 
long and tiresome; and then the king he shoved in and 
got off some of his usual rubbage, and at last the job 
was through, and the undertaker begun to sneak up on 
the coffin with his screw-driver. I was in a sweat 
then, and watched him pretty keen. But he never 
meddled at all; just slid the lid along as soft as mush, 
and screwed it down tight and fast. So there I was! 
I didn't know whether the money was in there or not. 
So, says I, s'pose somebody has hogged that bag on 
the sly? -- now how do I know whether to write to 
Mary Jane or not? S'pose she dug him up and didn't 
find nothing, what would she think of me? Blame it, 
I says, I might get hunted up and jailed; I'd better 
lay low and keep dark, and not write at all; the thing's 
awful mixed now; trying to better it, I've worsened it 
a hundred times, and I wish to goodness I'd just let it 
alone, dad fetch the whole business! 
 
They buried him, and we come back home, and I 
went to watching faces again -- I couldn't help it, and 
I couldn't rest easy. But nothing come of it; the 
faces didn't tell me nothing.  
 
The king he visited around in the evening, and 
sweetened everybody up, and made himself ever so 
friendly; and he give out the idea that his congrega- 
tion over in England would be in a sweat about him, 
so he must hurry and settle up the estate right away 
and leave for home. He was very sorry he was so 
pushed, and so was everybody; they wished he could 
stay longer, but they said they could see it couldn't be 
done. And he said of course him and William would 
take the girls home with them; and that pleased every- 
body too, because then the girls would be well fixed and 
amongst their own relations; and it pleased the girls, 
too -- tickled them so they clean forgot they ever had 
a trouble in the world; and told him to sell out as 
quick as he wanted to, they would be ready. Them 
poor things was that glad and happy it made my heart 
ache to see them getting fooled and lied to so, but I 
didn't see no safe way for me to chip in and change 
the general tune. 
 
Well, blamed if the king didn't bill the house and 
the niggers and all the property for auction straight 
off -- sale two days after the funeral; but anybody 
could buy private beforehand if they wanted to. 
 
So the next day after the funeral, along about noon- 
time, the girls' joy got the first jolt. A couple of 
nigger traders come along, and the king sold them the 
niggers reasonable, for three-day drafts as they called 
it, and away they went, the two sons up the river to 
Memphis, and their mother down the river to Orleans. 
I thought them poor girls and them niggers would 
break their hearts for grief; they cried around each 
other, and took on so it most made me down sick to 
see it. The girls said they hadn't ever dreamed of 
seeing the family separated or sold away from the 
town. I can't ever get it out of my memory, the 
sight of them poor miserable girls and niggers hanging 
around each other's necks and crying; and I reckon I 
couldn't a stood it all, but would a had to bust out 
and tell on our gang if I hadn't knowed the sale warn't 
no account and the niggers would be back home in a 
week or two. 
 
The thing made a big stir in the town, too, and a 
good many come out flatfooted and said it was scandal- 
ous to separate the mother and the children that way. 
It injured the frauds some; but the old fool he bulled 
right along, spite of all the duke could say or do, and 
I tell you the duke was powerful uneasy. 
 
Next day was auction day. About broad day in the 
morning the king and the duke come up in the garret 
and woke me up, and I see by their look that there 
was trouble. The king says: 
 
"Was you in my room night before last?" 
 
"No, your majesty" -- which was the way I always 
called him when nobody but our gang warn't around. 
 
"Was you in there yisterday er last night?" 
 
"No, your majesty." 
 
"Honor bright, now -- no lies." 
 
"Honor bright, your majesty, I'm telling you the 
truth. I hain't been a-near your room since Miss Mary 
Jane took you and the duke and showed it to you." 
 
The duke says: 
 
"Have you seen anybody else go in there?" 
 
"No, your grace, not as I remember, I believe." 
 
"Stop and think." 
 
I studied awhile and see my chance; then I says: 
 
"Well, I see the niggers go in there several times." 
 
Both of them gave a little jump, and looked like 
they hadn't ever expected it, and then like they HAD. 
Then the duke says: 
 
"What, all of them?" 
 
"No -- leastways, not all at once -- that is, I don't think  
I ever see them all come OUT at once but just one time." 
 
"Hello! When was that?" 
 
"It was the day we had the funeral. In the morn- 
ing. It warn't early, because I overslept. I was just 
starting down the ladder, and I see them." 
 
"Well, go on, GO on! What did they do? How'd they act?" 
 
"They didn't do nothing. And they didn't act 
anyway much, as fur as I see. They tiptoed away; 
so I seen, easy enough, that they'd shoved in there to 
do up your majesty's room, or something, s'posing 
you was up; and found you WARN'T up, and so they 
was hoping to slide out of the way of trouble without 
waking you up, if they hadn't already waked you up." 
 
"Great guns, THIS is a go!" says the king; and 
both of them looked pretty sick and tolerable silly. 
They stood there a-thinking and scratching their heads 
a minute, and the duke he bust into a kind of a little 
raspy chuckle, and says: 
 
"It does beat all how neat the niggers played their 
hand. They let on to be SORRY they was going out of 
this region! And I believed they WAS sorry, and so 
did you, and so did everybody. Don't ever tell ME 
any more that a nigger ain't got any histrionic talent. 
Why, the way they played that thing it would fool 
ANYBODY. In my opinion, there's a fortune in 'em. If 
I had capital and a theater, I wouldn't want a better 
lay-out than that -- and here we've gone and sold 'em 
for a song. Yes, and ain't privileged to sing the song 
yet. Say, where IS that song -- that draft?" 
 
"In the bank for to be collected. Where WOULD it be?" 
 
"Well, THAT'S all right then, thank goodness." 
 
Says I, kind of timid-like: 
 
"Is something gone wrong?" 
 
The king whirls on me and rips out: 
 
"None o' your business! You keep your head 
shet, and mind y'r own affairs -- if you got any. 
Long as you're in this town don't you forgit THAT -- 
you hear?" Then he says to the duke, "We got to 
jest swaller it and say noth'n': mum's the word for US." 
 
As they was starting down the ladder the duke he 
chuckles again, and says: 
 
"Quick sales AND small profits! It's a good business -- yes." 
 
The king snarls around on him and says: 
 
"I was trying to do for the best in sellin' 'em out 
so quick. If the profits has turned out to be none, 
lackin' considable, and none to carry, is it my fault 
any more'n it's yourn?" 
 
"Well, THEY'D be in this house yet and we WOULDN'T 
if I could a got my advice listened to." 
 
The king sassed back as much as was safe for him, 
and then swapped around and lit into ME again. He 
give me down the banks for not coming and TELLING 
him I see the niggers come out of his room acting that 
way -- said any fool would a KNOWED something was 
up. And then waltzed in and cussed HIMSELF awhile, 
and said it all come of him not laying late and taking 
his natural rest that morning, and he'd be blamed if he'd 
ever do it again. So they went off a-jawing; and I 
felt dreadful glad I'd worked it all off on to the niggers, 
and yet hadn't done the niggers no harm by it. 
  
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